Let Them Eat Cake

This week I join my fellow “mid-fortysomethings” in returning to the scene of many fond memories—academic and extracurricular pursuits, parties, romances and above all—friendships. Any self-absorbed pride in professional achievements and status will be quickly shattered by remembering that these friends know the real “truth” about me from college and medical school. I look forward to reminiscing with my Adams House roommates about our many pranks. These were (mostly) harmless, adolescent, idiotic and sophomoric forms of mischief born out of the monotony of studying for finals—in other words, some of the highlights of my Harvard education. Discounting activities previously reported in the Harvard Crimson Crime Report, or those still within the statute of limitations, I’ll recount one of our Finals week traditions.

Remember those perfectly geometric, box-shaped pieces of dessert cake we had every night? One of our favorite pastimes was to doctor them up with creative fillings. We would core out a hole from the bottom into which we could pour salad dressing, cottage cheese or other liquid condiments. We would then sneak these altered desserts back onto the cafeteria counter, and monitor the lucky, unsuspecting recipient.

After the main course, dessert time would reward us with a predictable pattern of entertaining facial expressions. Ingestion was immediately followed by 1) the grimacing pucker, 2) the horrified, double take “stare” at the item, 3) a confused period of closer inspection and finally 4) total disgust as the plate was slid to the opposite end of the table. Some indignant recipients brought their findings to the cafeteria staff (the Adams House “pink” lady). Most amazing was how many people eagerly proceeded to polish off the rest of the dessert.

Within our group, I was the best at the incision and debridement step. As our surgical technique improved, we operated on Twinkies, éclairs, and dinner rolls. Later in life, drawing upon these very same skills, I went on to pursue a career practicing and teaching ophthalmic microsurgery. And to think, I owe it all to Harvard!