To Go Where No University Has Gone Before

There has been much ink spilled recently over the priorities the next Harvard president should have and how he or she should lead the University into the 21st century. With an endowment approaching $20 billion, the possibilities seem endless. Harvard stands in a unique position in the course of human events. Using the vast resources of the University, we can claim responsiblity for one of the seminal events in human history: the colonization of Mars.

We have the ability, and with several years of hard work, we can have the technology to conquer the final frontier: space. With the Bush administration planning on cutting NASA funding, and the Russian space program in tatters, we cannot afford to wait for government to make the move. We must brave the new frontier ourselves.

Recent scientific developments have lowered the cost of a manned mission from over $20 billion to only $10-12 billion--well within the University's means. In addition, all of the tools necessary to send a group of Harvard students to the Red (soon to be Crimson) Planet exist nearby. We have some of the best scientific thinkers right here on campus, and we have hundreds of acres in Boston to build rockets, erect test Biospheres and perfect equipment.

Let's be honest, it's a move that makes sense. Harvard is running out of space here in Cambridge. Watertown, Allston and Boston are all getting ready to take up arms to stop the advancing Harvard tide. We now need to look elsewhere for space, and we need bold new ideas to get us there.

The launch of the mission would, of course, have to come from the B-School parking lot during half-time of the Harvard-Yale game in 2008. Once and for all we would demonstrate our superiority to Eli and their paltry $9 billion endowment.

Once a team has been landed on Mars, they could begin developing without regard for environmental rules, historical architecture or those pesky payment-in-lieu-of tax agreements. And, even better, there's no minimum wage on Mars--take that, PSLM! The University could populate the colony as part of the freshman housing lottery, offering first-years the chance to live in one of 12 houses or the Mars colony. Each year, 133 strapping new first-years, fresh out of the lottery, would arrive to continue the colonization. It would be a win-win situation all around: The Houses would be less overcrowded, students would love the adventure--and besides, the Quad looks a heck of a lot closer when you compare it to living 56 million miles away.

Imagine the science faculty Harvard could attract by offering them almost unlimited lab space on another planet. Imagine the draw on the Crimson Key tours. And--I'm amazed Rudenstine didn't think of this--imagine the untapped fund-raising potential of offering donors their own colonies or even a trip to Mars themselves. Plus, it's a good place to send the remaining vestiges of Radcliffe, since Harvard seems so eager to get rid of them.

Finally, even after spending $12 billion on getting there and $4 billion on colonization, Harvard's endowment would still be the fourth largest in the United States--eclipsing, among others, the University of Pennsylvania, Columbia, MIT, Dartmouth and Cornell.

Within a couple of decades, Harvard would have firmly established Mars as the Crimson Planet--and would have established itself as the university of the future.

--Garrett M. Graff