WWF Wrestler May Be 'Poon Man of the Year

Worldwide Wrestling Federation Smackdown fans rejoiced at the sight of the sign posted in Science Center B yesterday announcing a parade today featuring the wrestling superstar, the Rock.

But the supposed sponsor of the "Rocky Maivia" parade--set to begin at 2:30 p.m. at 44 Bow St.--the Lampoon, a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine, denies it is bringing the muscular celebrity.

The event coincides with the date of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals Man of the Year event, which will bring actor Billy Crystal to view the premiere of the show, The Jewel of Denial.

Lampoon President Stephen C. Hely '02 said his organization has honored men of the year as well, but the Lampoon was not responsible for the signs and said it has no plans to bring the Rock to campus tomorrow.

"I suspect the Spee Club," Hely said. "I think that's their kind of antics."

Asked why the all-male final club would decide to prank the Lampoon, Hely declined comment.

Completely baffled as to why Hely would single out his club, Spee President Paul M. Goldschmid '00 said he had not heard anything about the parade.

"I don't know what he's talking about," Goldschmid said. "But the 'People's Elbow' is my favorite finishing move--that's the Rock's finishing move."

Other Lampoon members believe the culprit may be another organization entirely.

Daniel Chun '02, a renowned Lampoon cat burglar, said his hunch was Diversity and Distinction.

"They've been waiting for their big prankery moment--or maybe CityStep," Chun declared.

Regardless of which group is responsible for the hoax, Chun said the Lampoon is concerned about wrestling fans who will be let down by the news.

According to the Rock's website (www.therock.com), his schedule is clear between his appearance on Smackdown in Fresno, Calif. on Tuesday and Saturday's match in Knoxville, Tenn. So it seems possible that the Rock, or Dwayne Johnson, could come to Cambridge.

And many students are eager to see him.

When Vince McMahon spoke at the law school last April, he enticed a packed house. And the Lampoon's last man of the year was another wrestling star, Randy "Macho Man" Savage.

"I would love to hang out with the Rock," Hely said.

Chun and Hely agreed the Rock is inferior to Savage, but they still support his presence on campus.

"What I would like to see is a match between the Rock and Macho Man," Chun said.

No one seems to know who pranked the Lampoon pranksters, or if they are simply pranking everyone else again.

But people will know this afternoon whether or not the Rock is here. At 6' 5, 275 pounds, he is hard to miss.

"We'll wait and see, but I don't consider the matter closed," Hely said.