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To the editors:
We write to express our concern about two serious inaccuracies in the piece "Reacting to a Friend's Disorder," (News, March 19).
The article states, "The first thing to remember is that an eating disorder is not a problem, but only an attempted solution to a problem." Make no mistake: An eating disorder is a serious problem. An eating disorder compromises one's health and well-being, can strain and even destroy one's relationships, can lead to serious medical complication and can result in death. Anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders; bulimia nervosa, too, can be fatal. People with eating disorders often have difficulty acknowledging how serious the risks of an eating disorder are, and so it is potentially every confusing for them to read then" an eating disorder is not a problem.'"
Our booklet, "What Should I Do?: Guidelines for Friends, Lovers, Roommates, and Relatives of People with Eating Disorders" states, "But it is worth remembering that an eating disorder in not only a problem but also an attempted solution to a problem."
The article also gives as an example of an "I" statement, "I think you are out of control." In our booklet, we use that very sentence as an example of a "You "statement disguised as an "I" statement. People with eating disorders are tyrannized by their won judgments of themselves, by other' judgments of them, and by what they perceive to be others' judgments of them. We encourage those who care about someone with an eating disorder not to express judgments or analysis of the person but to speak to that person with "I" statements, which express one's felt experience of her or him. Examples of true "I" statements include "I look at you, and I see the light going out of your eyes, and I feel like I'm losing you, I miss you. And I'm scared for you."
We appreciate that The Crimson included a piece on the role and responsibility of friends of people with eating disorders, and we very much appreciate the author's acknowledgment that "friends must tailor their response based on individual relationship." But we are concerned that the article contains serious inaccuracies and that it does not make clear that it is essentially a series of excerpts from our booklet. We would have appreciated clearer attribution. SHEILA M. REINDL MEREDITH S. REPETTO April 20,1999 The writers are a counselor and associate director of the Bureau of Study Counsel, respectively.
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