As Follows:

"As Follows:" publishes primary source material. (Documents printed in this section are real--Fifteen Minutes does NOT author the copy.) Where necessary, FM makes minor editorial changes.

On April 9, 1999, the Quincy House Bulletin, Q TIPS, reminded Quincy students of the rules that rein in the Quincy courtyard. The courtyard rules put a damper on the prospects of fun in the sun, and just as the sun seems to be making its much-ballyhooed return to Harvard. The enforcement of these rules is just another bullet point on the list of the Harvard administration's crackdown on fun. The font of the bulletin's title is consumed in flames, indicative of the heated debate between students who are looking for an outlet for fun and administrators who hope to quell those very thoughts. On the same day that Q TIPS was distributed to Quincyites, students completed tabling for their annual spring game of Assassin, a game which the Freshman Dean's Office and Lowell House have forbidden their constituents from playing this spring. While the Quincy rules for Assassin prohibit "killing" in the House courtyard, Quincy residents--given the renowned intensity of Assassin competition in the House--should keep an eye out for embittered bullets as well as flying frisbees and tennis balls. An excerpt from Q TIPS is as follows:

Now that Spring is near, it's time to review the QUINCY COURTYARD RULES:

--Do not ride your bicycle in the courtyard.

--Do not park or lock your bike to the iron gates surrounding the courtyard or anywhere near the ramp leading up to New Quincy. Blocking the ramp makes it difficult for anyone with a disability to use it.

--No flying objects. The propelling of objects within the confines of Quincy House is forbidden, because of the possibility of a collision between frisbees, soccer balls, or whatever, and the frail anatomies of Quincy House residents or the House's equally fragile glass windows. Practice your curve ball or golf swing somewhere else.

--The placement of stereo speakers in the windows is forbidden.

--Night time Quiet reigns--if you enjoy hanging out in the courtyard at night, please do it away from open windows, especially those in Old Quincy. Voices carry and are disruptive to those trying to study or sleep.