Not Out Today: 'Poon Parody Misguided

Those clever wags from the Lampoon are up to their hilarious hijinks again.

Just days into a new administration at the semi-secret Sorrento Square organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine, it seemed like the 'Poonsters were up to their old tricks.

Lampoon editors had just put the finishing touches on a parody of Cambridge's only breakfast-table daily, The Harvard Crimson.

But to the 'Poonsters' chargin, the parody--dated today--was lost before it could be distributed to a humor-deprived campus. Somehow, on the way from the printer to the Lampoon's mock-Flemish castle, the issues were lost without a trace.

Lampoon President Matthew C. Warburton '00, newly presiding over the 122-year old laugh factory, could not explain the paper's disappearance.

"Would that if I knew," he said in an interview with The Crimson yesterday.

Warburton said his organization suspected The Crimson might be behind the mysterious disappearance.

But Crimson President Joshua H. Simon '00 yesterday disavowed all knowledge of the papers' whereabouts.

"Let me make this perfectly clear: I did not have relations with that newspaper, The Crimson parody," Simon said. "And I didn't ask anyone to lie. Not once--never."

But a gaggle of Lampoon editors were not convinced. At about 9:30 p.m. last night, about 20 'Poonsters stormed the Crimson building before they were rebuffed by Crimson strong-people.

The 'Poonsters then held a sit-in protest for 10 minutes before being tossed from the building by former Crimson production supervisor Patrick R. Sorrento, a 62-year-old priest from Everett.

Without a backup plan, they retreated to their castle to sulk.

Yuks Galore

Despite the unknown whereabouts of the parody issues, The Crimson has learned that the Lampoon has outdone itself again.

The eight-page parody issue, coming on the heels of the Yale Daily News' NovemberCrimson parody, shows the legendary, sophisticatedLampoon humor--honed by 122 years of non-stoptomfoolery.

Following the Lampoon tradition of innovationand subtlety, this parody's writers hit upon acutting-edge concept: bathroom humor.

"Male Vagina' Actually Anus," reads the leadstory headline, clearly the result of months ofbrainstorming and focus group research.

And in another deft turn of comedic brilliance,the parody ridicules Dean of Students Archie C.Epps III--who will retire this July after 28 yearsof service to Harvard--for being overweight.

In recent years, the Lampoon, whose alumniinclude late-night talk show host Conan C. O'Brien'85 and Communist chronicler John Reed '10, haslost its monopoly on the campus humor market.

New humor magazines such as Demon and Satire Vhave stolen some of the Lampoon's thunder--a trendwhich some students have attributed to the factthat they are, in fact, humorous.

But if the Crimson parody is any indication,the 'Poon is moving to reclaim its supremacy inthe campus toilet-joke market.

Staff writers for the parody--which bearslittle resemblance to The Crimson--includedVirgil, Charles Dickens, Truman Capote, fictionalalumnus Tyrone Slothrop '40 and Gregory S. Krauss'00, who is also a Crimson executive.

Warburton, a cognitive neuroscienceconcentrator, warned that though the 'Poon mayhave been foiled this time, the pranksters havemore tricks up their sleeves.

"Dude, I got a bag of tricks up my sleeve," hesaid

Following the Lampoon tradition of innovationand subtlety, this parody's writers hit upon acutting-edge concept: bathroom humor.

"Male Vagina' Actually Anus," reads the leadstory headline, clearly the result of months ofbrainstorming and focus group research.

And in another deft turn of comedic brilliance,the parody ridicules Dean of Students Archie C.Epps III--who will retire this July after 28 yearsof service to Harvard--for being overweight.

In recent years, the Lampoon, whose alumniinclude late-night talk show host Conan C. O'Brien'85 and Communist chronicler John Reed '10, haslost its monopoly on the campus humor market.

New humor magazines such as Demon and Satire Vhave stolen some of the Lampoon's thunder--a trendwhich some students have attributed to the factthat they are, in fact, humorous.

But if the Crimson parody is any indication,the 'Poon is moving to reclaim its supremacy inthe campus toilet-joke market.

Staff writers for the parody--which bearslittle resemblance to The Crimson--includedVirgil, Charles Dickens, Truman Capote, fictionalalumnus Tyrone Slothrop '40 and Gregory S. Krauss'00, who is also a Crimson executive.

Warburton, a cognitive neuroscienceconcentrator, warned that though the 'Poon mayhave been foiled this time, the pranksters havemore tricks up their sleeves.

"Dude, I got a bag of tricks up my sleeve," hesaid