A Visit to Room 13: A Friendly Late Night Ear

Room 13 does not catch everyone's attention. It is sunken in a corner of Harvard Yard and what goes on inside remains hidden unless you, too, take the plunge.

Inside "the Room," a confidential peer counseling service, are comfy couches, cookies and two Harvard students willing to listen. And unless the cookies talk, nothing you say will leave the Room.

"It's often hard for people here to take time out to talk about what they're going through or tell other people what they're going through," says Elisabeth Marks '98'99. "Because Room 13 is a space separate from all the stresses it's a really nice space to have."

Marks, who co-directs Room 13 with Lara L. Glass '00, says anonymity is the keystone of the group's philosophy. Staff members asked not to be interviewed by The Crimson because, as a group, they decided "it would be harmful for students to form too much of a defined perception of us and what we do," Marks explained.

Now is the time, though, to learn about the Room. The group is now conducting interviews for next year's staff, and spots are still available.

But if you would rather talk than listen, the Room is there for you. The largest challenge for staff, Marks says, is making their space attractive to all.

"I played with the idea of coming down here," she says of her first year at Harvard, now sitting in the Room. "I was never able to use it but wish that I had."

Cookies, Condoms and Conversation

Room 13 is a couple of rooms tucked in the basement of Grays Hall. Beyond a door off the small hallway are several classrooms.

But since the Room is open from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., there is no fear for invasion of privacy from a tutorial or Ec 10 section.

A table with a basket full of condoms sits in the hall where anyone entering easily spot them.

The rooms in the Room are furnished with comfortable, 1970s-style couches, coffee tables and bookshelves filled with counseling pamphlets and books.

And, Marks says, "We do have cookies."

Seven nights a week, two staff members in the Room--one man and one woman--spend the night prepared for calls or drop-in visits.

Some visitors prefer to speak to either a man or a woman, Glass says, adding that staff members "want people to be as comfortable as possible." This policy also helps preserve anonymity.

"If one of the staff members looks familiar, [the visitor] can ask to speak to the other gender," she says.

The staff of 27 undergraduates rotates days, spending the night about once every two weeks in a varying pattern.

Each night can be a feast or a famine, Markssays.

"We usually see between two and two-and-a-halfcalls or drop-ins per night on average," Markssays, adding that that number does not includepeople dropping by for condoms.

The flow of visitors does fluctuate. Glass hasobserved that publicity efforts--such aspostering--bring an increase in visitors. Campusevents have also brought fluctuations in Room 13'sregular flow. One recent example was last year,when Joshua M. Elster, Class of 2000, was accusedof raping another student.

"Things like that can inspire people to callus," Glass says. "There is also a time whenblocking comes up more often."

When someone drops in for a visit to Room 13,one of the counselors will go into a room andlisten to the person's situation and problem.

One thing Room 13 staffers are trained not todo is concern themselves with the visitor's House,year, concentration or sexuality. Ideally, theyshould be non-judgmental listeners.

Staffers also are supposed refrain fromoffering themselves as an example.

"We try not to involve our own experiences,"Marks says. "Everybody has their own counselingskills. In general, we don't really bring in ourown lives."

The counselors' training teaches them toconceal any personal emotions or experiencessimilar to the problem. But despite thisimpersonal demeanor, Marks says the job can betrying.

"It is an intense thing so if you're doing it,you're doing it because it's important to you,"Marks says. "For a majority of staff, this istheir most important extracurricular."

Marks declined to specify any attrition rate,saying the number of counselors does fluctuate."Because it can require emotional energy...ifpeople are feeling overloaded, they take time offfrom doing the room."

She says, though, that the pressure-cookeratmosphere is important to the staff experience.

There is "something about being downstairs andbeing in Room 13," Marks says. "There's prettyintense bonding. Because we have experiences butdo remain confidential, there's experiences wedeal with only with each other."

Glass feels much the same way.

"If a contact affects you, the only people youcould potentially talk to is your fellow staffer,"Glass says.

A Quiet Maturity

Now close to celebrating its 30th birthday, theRoom has successfully preserved its mission ofproviding anonymous peer counseling toundergraduates.

Nadja B. Gould, a clinical social worker atUniversity Health Services (UHS), was thesupervisor of Room 13 from 1978 until last yearand is the authority on its history.

"Room 13 began in 1970-1971, originally in anon-resident tutor's office in Mather House whichwas #13, hence the name," Gould wrote in an e-mailmessage.

According to Gould, it started out because of alack of student trust in the mental health andcounseling services offered by professionals.Students "wanted `a place just to talk' with otherstudents who cared and could listen," Gould says.

Gould, who is now working with the PeerAdvisory Board, which is comprised of theco-directors of the five peer counselinggroups--Room 13, PCC, Contact, Response andECHO--says the concerns that people now bring toRoom 13 are a little different from those theybrought in the 1970s.

Then, students' main problems were avoiding thedraft, birth control, abortion, relationshipissues, civil rights and women's rights.

But while the draft is no longer an issue, someproblems have remained timeless. One question hasalways been the relationship between counselorsand their peers outside of the Room.

"As a staff, we have struggled throughout theyears with the disclosure of who we are, as weattempt to weigh the benefits of publicity andappeasing the intimidation and mystery that mightdiscourage students from coming to talk with us,and the discomfort and fear of discovery thatstudents might feel if the Room is thought of as apublic or social entity," Marks wrote in an e-mailmessage.

She says that during her first year, staffmembers were accustomed to hiding that they kneweach other from Room 13 when they encountered eachother in public. Although some staff members stillhide their involvement, Marks says that when sheleaves a message on another staff member'sanswering machine, she can say she's calling aboutRoom 13.

"For many years, the staffers were very openabout being on Room 13--then there seemed to be afew years when they preferred to be anonymous, andnow are more open again," Gould says.

Building a Mystery

Like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside anenigma, Room 13 is one big question mark to manyHarvard students.

According to Marks, that is by design.

"Sharing your concerns, worries, fears,troubles, joys, challenges and general lifecomplications is a risky move," she says. "In thatway, the amount of mystery and depersonalizationthat does surround the Room works in our favor andfor the benefit or our contacts."

Perhaps a reflection of this ambiguity,students have disparate perceptions of what goeson in Room 13. Several students, questioned atrandom, did not know what Room 13 was.

"It's like a lot of student groups here,"Philip P. Mariani '01 says. "Those you use, youknow about. Those you don't, you don't."

The problem, of course, is that students mightnot use the Room, or know they need it, until thetime comes. The importance of the service, otherstudents say, is that it can be depended on forwhenever students need it.

"I think it is wonderful," says Bridget J. Frey'99. "I think the people are wonderful. They arepretty much the only people accessible that lateat night."

Anonymity and a low profile are importantbecause the staff wants students to feelcomfortable discussing concerns that they do notwant to share with friends, family or advisers.Harvard's intensity can bring students down, andsometimes answers are not always evident.

"As most of the campus will agree, Harvard is adifficult place," Marks says. "These difficultiesare compounded with the fact that, for moststudents, it is challenging to ask for help, letalone to receive adequate support or assistance."

Perhaps the Room's biggest drawing point isconfidentiality--a source of pride for Room 13.Either as an anonymous voice on the other end ofthe phone or as a willing listener in person, thestaff is trained to not reveal any details aboutinteraction with its visitors.

"At Room 13 we are regularly confronted withpeople who are very nervous about calling us ordropping in to speak with us," Marks wrote in ane-mail message. "We often have to reassurecontacts that we do not have caller ID or anytrace mechanism."

We're Hiring

If you do want them to know who you are,consider applying for next year's staff. It is nottoo late, Marks says.

"People can call for interviews from February22 to March 14," Marks says. "People can calluntil we fill up."

The application process is competitive, withtwo rounds of interviews and a waiting list forstaffers. Current staff members do not need toreapply. Interviews are serious. Two staff membersinteract with applicants in role-playingsituations and interviews. Feedback follows therole-play.

Despite the careful selection and trainingprocess, Marks says it is important for the staffand the campus to realize that Room 13 does nothave all of the answers. Rather than answers, theRoom offers compassion.

"We all believe in the value of talking aboutthings," Marks says. "I think college is hard forall of us even those who take time for otherpeople to talk about issues."

They know, though, that the service theyprovide is valuable to the Harvard community, andthe staff.

"[The contact has] come to you for a reason,"Glass says, "and you can build some community forthem. Being a part of that--it's an amazingfeeling."ROOM 13 UNDERGRADUATE PEER COUNSELING 7 P.M.- 7 A.M. 495-4969

Each night can be a feast or a famine, Markssays.

"We usually see between two and two-and-a-halfcalls or drop-ins per night on average," Markssays, adding that that number does not includepeople dropping by for condoms.

The flow of visitors does fluctuate. Glass hasobserved that publicity efforts--such aspostering--bring an increase in visitors. Campusevents have also brought fluctuations in Room 13'sregular flow. One recent example was last year,when Joshua M. Elster, Class of 2000, was accusedof raping another student.

"Things like that can inspire people to callus," Glass says. "There is also a time whenblocking comes up more often."

When someone drops in for a visit to Room 13,one of the counselors will go into a room andlisten to the person's situation and problem.

One thing Room 13 staffers are trained not todo is concern themselves with the visitor's House,year, concentration or sexuality. Ideally, theyshould be non-judgmental listeners.

Staffers also are supposed refrain fromoffering themselves as an example.

"We try not to involve our own experiences,"Marks says. "Everybody has their own counselingskills. In general, we don't really bring in ourown lives."

The counselors' training teaches them toconceal any personal emotions or experiencessimilar to the problem. But despite thisimpersonal demeanor, Marks says the job can betrying.

"It is an intense thing so if you're doing it,you're doing it because it's important to you,"Marks says. "For a majority of staff, this istheir most important extracurricular."

Marks declined to specify any attrition rate,saying the number of counselors does fluctuate."Because it can require emotional energy...ifpeople are feeling overloaded, they take time offfrom doing the room."

She says, though, that the pressure-cookeratmosphere is important to the staff experience.

There is "something about being downstairs andbeing in Room 13," Marks says. "There's prettyintense bonding. Because we have experiences butdo remain confidential, there's experiences wedeal with only with each other."

Glass feels much the same way.

"If a contact affects you, the only people youcould potentially talk to is your fellow staffer,"Glass says.

A Quiet Maturity

Now close to celebrating its 30th birthday, theRoom has successfully preserved its mission ofproviding anonymous peer counseling toundergraduates.

Nadja B. Gould, a clinical social worker atUniversity Health Services (UHS), was thesupervisor of Room 13 from 1978 until last yearand is the authority on its history.

"Room 13 began in 1970-1971, originally in anon-resident tutor's office in Mather House whichwas #13, hence the name," Gould wrote in an e-mailmessage.

According to Gould, it started out because of alack of student trust in the mental health andcounseling services offered by professionals.Students "wanted `a place just to talk' with otherstudents who cared and could listen," Gould says.

Gould, who is now working with the PeerAdvisory Board, which is comprised of theco-directors of the five peer counselinggroups--Room 13, PCC, Contact, Response andECHO--says the concerns that people now bring toRoom 13 are a little different from those theybrought in the 1970s.

Then, students' main problems were avoiding thedraft, birth control, abortion, relationshipissues, civil rights and women's rights.

But while the draft is no longer an issue, someproblems have remained timeless. One question hasalways been the relationship between counselorsand their peers outside of the Room.

"As a staff, we have struggled throughout theyears with the disclosure of who we are, as weattempt to weigh the benefits of publicity andappeasing the intimidation and mystery that mightdiscourage students from coming to talk with us,and the discomfort and fear of discovery thatstudents might feel if the Room is thought of as apublic or social entity," Marks wrote in an e-mailmessage.

She says that during her first year, staffmembers were accustomed to hiding that they kneweach other from Room 13 when they encountered eachother in public. Although some staff members stillhide their involvement, Marks says that when sheleaves a message on another staff member'sanswering machine, she can say she's calling aboutRoom 13.

"For many years, the staffers were very openabout being on Room 13--then there seemed to be afew years when they preferred to be anonymous, andnow are more open again," Gould says.

Building a Mystery

Like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside anenigma, Room 13 is one big question mark to manyHarvard students.

According to Marks, that is by design.

"Sharing your concerns, worries, fears,troubles, joys, challenges and general lifecomplications is a risky move," she says. "In thatway, the amount of mystery and depersonalizationthat does surround the Room works in our favor andfor the benefit or our contacts."

Perhaps a reflection of this ambiguity,students have disparate perceptions of what goeson in Room 13. Several students, questioned atrandom, did not know what Room 13 was.

"It's like a lot of student groups here,"Philip P. Mariani '01 says. "Those you use, youknow about. Those you don't, you don't."

The problem, of course, is that students mightnot use the Room, or know they need it, until thetime comes. The importance of the service, otherstudents say, is that it can be depended on forwhenever students need it.

"I think it is wonderful," says Bridget J. Frey'99. "I think the people are wonderful. They arepretty much the only people accessible that lateat night."

Anonymity and a low profile are importantbecause the staff wants students to feelcomfortable discussing concerns that they do notwant to share with friends, family or advisers.Harvard's intensity can bring students down, andsometimes answers are not always evident.

"As most of the campus will agree, Harvard is adifficult place," Marks says. "These difficultiesare compounded with the fact that, for moststudents, it is challenging to ask for help, letalone to receive adequate support or assistance."

Perhaps the Room's biggest drawing point isconfidentiality--a source of pride for Room 13.Either as an anonymous voice on the other end ofthe phone or as a willing listener in person, thestaff is trained to not reveal any details aboutinteraction with its visitors.

"At Room 13 we are regularly confronted withpeople who are very nervous about calling us ordropping in to speak with us," Marks wrote in ane-mail message. "We often have to reassurecontacts that we do not have caller ID or anytrace mechanism."

We're Hiring

If you do want them to know who you are,consider applying for next year's staff. It is nottoo late, Marks says.

"People can call for interviews from February22 to March 14," Marks says. "People can calluntil we fill up."

The application process is competitive, withtwo rounds of interviews and a waiting list forstaffers. Current staff members do not need toreapply. Interviews are serious. Two staff membersinteract with applicants in role-playingsituations and interviews. Feedback follows therole-play.

Despite the careful selection and trainingprocess, Marks says it is important for the staffand the campus to realize that Room 13 does nothave all of the answers. Rather than answers, theRoom offers compassion.

"We all believe in the value of talking aboutthings," Marks says. "I think college is hard forall of us even those who take time for otherpeople to talk about issues."

They know, though, that the service theyprovide is valuable to the Harvard community, andthe staff.

"[The contact has] come to you for a reason,"Glass says, "and you can build some community forthem. Being a part of that--it's an amazingfeeling."ROOM 13 UNDERGRADUATE PEER COUNSELING 7 P.M.- 7 A.M. 495-4969