Grammy Watch

"The National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, Inc.... is dedicated to improving the quality of life and cultural condition for music and its makers." --Mission of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences

"Am I original?... yeah

Am I the only one?... yeah

Am I sexual?... yeah"   --The Backstreet Boys

Thank heavens that, in its rush to reward the stylistics of Lauryn Hill and the honey-sweet tenor of Andrea Bocelli with Grammy nominations for Best New Artist, the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS) didn't forget the true innovators of 1998--the Backstreet Boys.

Kevin Richardson, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell, AJ McLean and Nick Carter came out of nowhere (Orlando) last year, five clean-shaven, moussed-and-gelled actors-turned-singers with the uncanny ability to harmonize their voices. Within weeks, the nightclub beats, two-note bass lines and the way they managed to look so damn sexy in those baggy jeans won the Boys international attention. An instant favorite among the twelve and thirteen year-old set and a must-have on birthday party playlists around the world, the Backstreet Boys became media darlings as well.

All it takes is a doe-eyed stare and the ejaculation of a deep-throated "Girl..."to whip millions of middle-schoolers into pubescent lust, but that effortlessness bespeaks true art. Indeed, it became clear to the most prestigious publications that the Backstreet Boys had something unique that their predecessors lacked, even The New Kids on the Block (and who ever thought they'd go out of style?). The Boys soon dominated the magazines of the avant-garde--Teen People, YM, and the great standard-bearer of them all, Tiger Beat.

It is a relief, then that NARAS has responded to the impeccable taste of teenage girls by bestowing the Grammy nomination on the Backstreet Boys. The award for Best New Artist traditionally portends greatness for its recipient and recognizes the musical achievement of hard-bodied young stars. But there are some naysayers, some files in the hair gel, who claim that the Boys are hardly qualified to be given an award that has gone to the likes of Tracy Chapman (1988) and Bruce Hornsby (1986). To them, I say let's take a look at how the Boys stack up against their competitors:

Andrea Bocelli: Whoever that is. Next? Dixie Chicks: They might rival the Backstreet Boys for sheer hottiness, but this ain't no Country Music Awards. Lauryn Hill: Aren't we all a little tired of this kind of revolutionary blending of rap, hip-hop and R&B? Give me that sweet Backstreet bubblegum anytime. Natalie Imbruglia: Maybe if she put on a little makeup, she'd be cute enough to be a serious contender. And that last name has got to go.

It's as clear as Brian Littrell's blue eyes that only the Backstreet Boys feature the special brand of eye and ear candy that keeps their songs in your head all day, keeps their faces in your dreams all night and thereby makes them the Best New Artists of 1998.

Other groups have attempted to cash in on the Boy's success. 'N Sync and Take Five might look good in some low-riding jeans and a sweater with a stripe across the chest; they, too, might be able to sing along with a keyboard and a drum machine. But do they have the spark of true genius? Can they look into 12 cameras like they were looking into your eyes alone and promise never, never to break your heart and somehow, over all those miles of television cables, actually mean it? Do you know that they will someday come for you and love you like never before? That, my friends, is the measure and that is why the Backstreet Boys deserve a Grammy.

Finally, those stuffed shirts at NARAS have gotten it right. Now about that Oscar for Leonardo DiCaprio....