Introducing: Jennr8r
For VH1: Behind the Music (Heinrich Smitt) "I was brought up by German expatriates on a ranch in Wyoming. On that ranch was a little studio that we kept in the toolshed . . . there was a lot of equipment, equipment that looked as if it would sever a limb. I spent a lot of my childhood in that studio, with my head in a vise as my poppy beat me with a cattle prod. A lot of the stuff that we produce today in these multi-million dollar studios, with all the fancy equipment, with the vises made of softest velvet, just don't compare to the songs I made in that little toolshed studio. Something about that studio was never really recaptured."
A sweaty, screaming throng asks, begs, demands more. A single silver crescent slices through the madness. It is the messianic figure of Thorndike Smith, back arched in orgiastic pleasure, lips curled, a portal to the monster sound that pours from his gilded throat. His synth-pop benediction sends a tidal wave of emotion through his already epileptic disciples. This is the phenomenon known as JENNR8R. In an unprecedented move, JENNR8R agreed to be interviewed, if only briefly, by Fifteen Minutes.
FM: Briefly describe your musical influences.
Thorndike Smith: It's as easy as this really...I was born listening to baroque music, after that I'd say the theme song intro to Howdy Doody and, following that, perhaps, Duran Duran and Erasure.
Sven Gevaldik: We take the rhythms from poetry, and we try to bring that into the musical sphere. Guns 'n Roses: excellent poets.
Lorenzo Wainscott Pagano: And we cannot ignore our roots in the electronic avant-gardism of 1950s Paris. These synthesizers may be used in pop music, but their roots are in high academia. And we don't forget that.
Heinrich Smitt: John Coltrane. Who can forget his words: "It's good to be alive and from Tennessee." It is good to be alive and from Tennessee.
TS: Bach, Beethoven, Louis Armstrong. I think I've learned a great deal from them, especially in my pronounced stoutness, about the tummy.
FM: How do you explain your phenomenal success overseas, especially in "third-world countries?"
HS: They know soul...they know the dirge; they know how to mourn.
TS: It is JENNR8R, more than food, that sustains these people. It's music, man.
LWP: And how do you bring technology to a starving culture? You bring JENNR8R. You bring inspiration.
TS: And how do you bring love to a starving culture? What is more pertinent, more important to these people, food or love? And JENNR8R brings them love, JENNR8R brings them hope, JENNR8R brings them truth.
LWP: Which will bring them food!
FM: The exotic and untimely deaths of many of your former bandmembers have been well-documented. What are your thoughts on what is known in the industry as the JENNR8R curse?
HS: Well, if you're going to mention the cannibalism I don't even want to talk about it.
TS: Perhaps your readers are not familiar with the unfortunate incident we had. What happened is...
HS: Human buttocks are among the most tender meat I have ever tasted. Human buttocks and this little part of the thumb. They are very succulent.
TS: We were flying back from our first successful South American tour. We were down in Tierra del Fuego where we played a wonderful, lovely concert.
SG: With Elton John! That was with Elton John.
TS: And our plane unfortunately crashed. Only Heinrich and I and the people you see here survived.
HS: We used to play in front of a 50-piece orchestra, but we trimmed it down after the accident.
TS: There was one tragic night--but it was also very cold, and Heinrich's fingers are very sensitive.
HS: We were in Nome, Alaska, and we were in a little lean-to shack. All we had was a hoagie and a bombardier skidoo. So we burned the bandmates, got warm, ate our hoagie and rode off on the bombardier skidoo--all six of us.
LWP: The Eskimos have 20 words for snow, correct? They have 40 words for love they received from the band JENNR8R.
FM: Do you feel that JENNR8R has had its 15 minutes of fame?
TS: That is a silly question that you should never ask us again. This interview is over.
HS: I mean when Andy Warhol told me that, back in 1969...
T, HS: He was sooo pretentious. He was so, so pretentious. That twit!
TS: JENNR8R is a quantity that will persist forever. If I were a physicist, I would say, JENNR8R has a half-life of infinity, because JENNR8R has a total life of infinity. Do you understand what I am saying? If I spoke English, I would say forever, that is how long, we will live. And survive. And our fame will last, forever. Forever.