Fifteen Minutes: Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands

MYTH: Women do not masturbate

Despite what little Jenny told you during your last game of "I never," many women (yes, even Harvard women) find that self-pleasure is an integral part of their young adult lives. Obviously, no two women are alike; for some it might be once or twice a month and for others once or twice a night. Whatever the frequency, pleasuring yourself, as one Quincy sophomore put it, "is more than just an orgasm...it's about getting to know your body, experimenting and relieving stress."

Let's face it: Comparatively speaking of course, the Harvard student body is not one that frequently pulls in to the full service lane...so it stands to reason that if you want to fill 'er up you might have to settle for a bit of the old self-serve.

Practically Speaking

Some blame a lack of privacy for their infrequent jam sessions. Getting to know your body is a bit harder to do when your roommate is tossing and turning in a bunk only a few inches from your head. Also, constantly strenuous workload (here at Harvard?...Never) is the easiest way to completely kill any sensual desires you might be having. The immediate need to rest overrides all other feelings, leaving a woman feeling tired and behind in her work and in no mood to figure out the best way to masturbate.

Then, of course, there are those lucky few who are getting some. A senior in Winthrop put it quite nicely when she said, "I can make myself have some pretty good orgasms, better sometimes than actually having sex, but the whole experience is inferior...once I got to college I realized how much better it is to be with someone."

Social Stigmas

There are more pressing reasons why some girls feel that masturbation is simply not the thing to do. The social stigmas, though dying fast, are still around. Masturbation is seen by some as pitiful or even dirty. The common argument is that a woman who masturbates is pathetic and should be concentrating on getting that pleasure from a significant other. A male sophomore in Cabot house voiced his general disapproval about women pleasing themselves; "personally I'm against it--because that's why I'm not getting any."

There are more deep-seated arguments against masturbation, often stemming from religious or conservative beliefs. One Mormon Web site nowscape.com/mormon/mormast--offered tips on how to stop the sinful activity which "in no way expresses the proper procreative power." It is easy to see why many women, still able to catch a sour whiff of historically male-centric garbage about whom she should please and why, might, even today, feel a bit guilty about actively pleasing themselves. One Dunster House junior commented that she "went to a Catholic school [where] a priest came in to give lectures about masturbation--and what a sin it was to make love to yourself--I tried to quit but couldn't, so I would just lay in the dark feeling ashamed."

Luckily, things are changing and fast.

Getting Started (Oh baby!)

Some women find that conjuring mental images is the best way to go. An anonymous Cabot House sophomore prefers "erotica that is heavy on the [emotional] build-up and romance...Anne Rice is good for that." But, like they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Hollywood Express in Porter Square has an off-beat selection of porn movies. "Alice in Wonderland--a pornographic musical comedy" is a quirky reinterpretation of the Lewis Carroll classic. And for those of you who don't have the pleasure of living in the Quad, there is always VideoPros, located very conveniently in the Garage. VideoPros has a more standard collection of porn flicks (beware of the French film about naked women being eaten by jellyfish).

There are also a few good sex shops around town, if your God-given digits simply don't cut it. Tucked away in Central Square is Hubba Hubba--a decent little sex shop where the leather is abundant and the dildos come with a lifetime warranty. "Yeah, I masturbate," says one sophomore in Quincy House, "though I never thought about using a dildo--not that I opposed to it or anything." For those who might want to give it a try, a standard issue silicon dildo will run you about $35, the larger sizes or uniquely decorative pieces can be a bit more expensive. But can you really put a price tag on being able to say "I masturbate with a silver glitter dildo?"

Provided the privacy thing is not an issue, there are several how-to books and Web sites that transform masturbation into an awe inspiring art. Generation X shops like Urban Outfitters and Newberry Comics tend to have their fair share of sex guides and how-to books. Sites like www.skinful.com and www.mmadness.com are also a good place to start.

Ready To Rock

The main thing, obviously, is to do whatever works--whether it be a 10-pound glass dildo (no judgement calls here) or the tip of your pinkie finger applied ever so lightly to your sweet pearl.

Now, some of you might be in the dark about the best ways to become aroused--and there is nothing wrong with that. This is one activity that you will want to set aside time to practice. For those without a special place to call their own, the shower isn't just for shaving and scrubbing. The junior from Dunster finds that masturbating in the shower is a great way to start the day. "I feel so clean and refreshed after I'm done," she says. The In-the-Shower technique is quite advanced, but it can be done. Sexperts at www.nookie.com advise that for some women "applying too much pressure to the clitoris can be overwhelming--beginners may want to start by holding the clitoris softly between two fingers and moving them in a circular motion gradually increasing the amount of pressure until it feels just right."

Or here's another one from skinful.com: Use a lubricant to wet the tip of your index finger and thumb before gently applying pressure to the clitoris. Use your other hand to slowly rub the backs of your thighs, stomach and vagina. Three cheers for the Internet.

Whatever the individual technique, masturbation is a great way to relieve most physical stress, especially when an orgasm is involved. Most women do find that pleasuring themselves is useful for not only relieving stress but also for exploring their sexual appetites. As one sophomore male in Cabot House puts it, "The knowledge that a woman masturbates increases her attractiveness. It shows she's tuned in to her sexuality and will respond more naturally in sexual situations."