Howard's End?

When I first heard that Howard Stern had separated from his wife, Alison, I called my mother, a fan.

"You're joking," she exclaimed. I could see her wide eyes through the phone. "No," she repeated. "No, that can't be true!" Later, "Well, what took her so long?"

Welcome to the latest intersection between the personal life of the personality and the listening life of America.

This time, though, Howard's off-air actions may force some of his fans to make a moral decision of their own.

I've been out as a Howard Stern fan for six years, ever since his program was syndicated to my hometown.

Somehow, knowing that a devoted father and doting husband lay behind his saucy veneer helped to give his commentary legitimacy. I didn't feel guilty when I laughed at his celebration of primitive masculinity, his politically incorrect comments, his berating of his staff and, perhaps most of all, the exhibitionism of his personal life.

His poor wife Alison stood by him for 25 years, gave him three beautiful daughters and sacrificed her career and her personal life. Howard gave her wealth, material comfort and a love poem in the form of a hit movie.

When women came to his studio just so they could experience the famous Stern leer, I accepted Stern's performance. I laughed at his inveterate truth telling.

Somehow, though, I knew it couldn't last--there had to some overlap between the personal and the professional, particularly because for Howard, the personal is professional.

Now it would seem that I'm in a bit of a bind.

The person behind the mask doesn't seem so healthy anymore. Can I laugh at Howard Stern and still maintain a semblance of moral probity? Do I have to admit that his alleged sexism, supposed racism and seeming classism are beyond the pale of what's acceptable? Is Howard really a bad guy?

Liberal moralists do say that his show promotes the objectification of women, the oppression of ethnic minorities and the celebration of mass culture. Conservative moralists do say that his show debases culture and promotes bad behavior.

What do I say? Ha!

The Howard Stern Show is the closest radio comes to appointment listening. In order to understand the references he makes, it takes months and even years of dedicated concentration. Slowly, what "Baba Booey" means becomes clear. The lives of all the show's stars are fair game for dissection. Daily foibles become metaphors for the poor choices we've all made.

The format of his show has been copied by aspiring idiots in nearly every radio market in the country.

Howard brought balls-out comedy to radio. He's a descendent of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor and George Carlin. He may offend, but there's always an affectionate edge to the condescension.

True, he's also boring at times, politically unsophisticated and even a little mean-spirited.

But, alas, he speaks a truth that "cultured" society automatically tends to discount. From his relatively uncultured perspective, he's not afraid to critique the hypocrisy of the gay rights movement and the moralism of Jerry Falwell at the same time. He loves deflating the pretensions of the media elite.

The tender way he discussed his own personal troubles this morning is testament to his intellectual honesty. He says he's committed to repairing his marriage and won't violate the sacral bed. I believe him.

He makes the absurd seem reasonable, and makes you wonder why you laugh at ethnic jokes, sex jokes and religious jokes in the first place.

But beyond all the moral reasoning--this is life, not a Michael Sandel lecture--the man and his show are funny. Very funny. More funny than a fulminating ideologue. The pleasure is voyeuristic and guiltless. I'm not ashamed to like Howard Stern.