Fifteen Minutes: Ballpark Wisdom: Dining Out with Harvard's Fenway Boys

For two seasons, Christopher Roma-Agvanian `02 has slung a bag of Cokes over his shoulder, wrapped a money apron around his waist and walked up and down the bleachers of Fenway Park. This spring, his "boy" from their Boston Latin days and current PfoHo roommate Sean H. Ryan `02 joined him to holler and hustle the crowd.

Their days of contemplating pitches and passing out cotton candy have taught them a great deal about the world of baseballoand even more about the snacks they hawk. FM, eager for the inside scoop, invited Chris and Sean for a walk through the Square to taste-test ballpark-esque offerings for those days when the Yard is closer than the Park.

[On Plympton Street]

FM: So, which of you guys started this vending trend?

Sean: [gestures to Chris] You were working before me. But all our boys do it. You make a lot of money.

Sean: At peak there are 15 of us.

Chris: And after the games we chill.

Sean: At the end of the summer, we played a lot of football. You're just chilling with the boys and you get to watch batting practice.

FM: How do you get the job?

Sean: Chris told me. You go down there, talk to Joe and he'll hook you up.

Chris: They need a lot of workers. And it's a six- or seven-month job.

[Depart Plympton Street]

FM: So were going to eat lots of ballpark foods now. What's your favorite?

Chris: The franks.

Sean: Yeah, Fenway Franks. They're really good.

FM: Do you ever get the food for free like this though?

Chris: We can get whatever we want.

Sean: By the seventh inning, were not going to sell any more. They're just going to throw them out, so we can eat a lot.

FM: What's the most you've ever had?

Chris: Just one.

Sean: I think I've had four.

Chris: Really? I wouldn't want to ruin it by eating that many.

Sean: That's true. They're really not so good after you have a bunch.

[Arrive at Tommy's House of Pizza]

FM: So our first stop is pizza. Your thoughts on the Fenway pizza?

Sean: Well its Papa Gino's, so it's just like the brand.

Chris: But we mass-produce it at Fenway.

FM: Let me get the pizza. [FM purchases a slice of Pizzao$1.50 at Tommy's, $4 at Fenway]

Chris: Do you want me to put on my uniform? [He gestures to a plastic shopping bag he brought along]

FM: Sure. Although you might not want to change right now.

Sean: I guess the biggest difference is that ours is a circle. You don't eat them the same way. Yeah, you can't fold them up like this.

FM: Do people ever complain about the shape? Do they want triangles like they're used to?

Chris: Well, no. You get more pizza.

Sean: That would be hard because all products have to fit in bags we can carry.

FM: Have you sold pizza before?

Chris: I've sold them a few times. You need high seniority to sell pizza.

FM: What are the best things to sell?

Chris: Most people want hot dogs.

Sean: A friend of ours sells Diet Coke, and he does really well.

FM: Does it matter how much you sell?

Chris: You get 13.3 percent commission and you make more as you make more money.

FM: What's the best you've ever done?

Sean: I've made $120-$45 in tips. During the All-Star game, people would give me extra dollars. And if you're selling a product with price that has 75 cents, you can get the quarter a lot. If we're playing a good team, the crowd is more into it, and the money is going to be better. Those games you're going to make a lot of money.

FM: Do you have any special phrases you shout?

Sean: We can't say the words Red Sox or any of the players' names.

Chris: We can't? When Nomar [Garciaparra] hits well, I say, "Get your Nomar franks."

Sean: You can always say Fenway though.

FM: Do you have a specific area to cover?

Chris: You go to where you think you'll sell the most.

Sean: But people are assigned to areas, and if you go out of yours, someone will get pissed at you.

FM: How tiring is the job?

Chris: It's not so bad.

Sean: At the beginning of the summer my feet hurt a lot.

Chris: In the bleachers it the worst. There's no way to walk across so you have to go all the way up and all the way down.

FM: Do people ever get you to pass food down and then not pass the money back?

Sean: People think pretending to do that is really funny.

Chris: There are three jokes we hear. "Where's the beer vendor?" "$3.25 for a Coke? Hey, is there rum in here?" "I can buy three of these at Star Market."

[Enter 7-11 and head toward the spinning hot dog cookers]

Chris: These are pretty big. [Gestures to the Super Big Bite, $1.63 at 7-11, $3 at Fenway.]

FM: Are Fenway franks cooked like this?

Chris: They are continually steamed.

FM: Does that make them healthier?

Chris: I don't think so.

Sean: The best part of the Fenway franks is the buns. They are really soft. They have slush too. We have Ritchie's World Famous Italian Slush.

FM: Can you really compare that to a Slurpee?

Sean: No.

[FM attempts to figure out how one buys a hot dog at 7-11 and tries to flag down an employee]

FM: Do you guys ever have violence problems?

Chris: It's friendly at Fenway.

Sean: Big guys in white shirts kick out anyone causing a problem. I've seen them clear out whole sections.

FM: Are ketchup and mustard available at Fenway?

CHRIS: It used to only be mustard, but Aramark [the Fenway vending company] realized what people wanted. I eat sick amounts of ketchup.

FM: Have you ever met anyone famous?

Sean: Aramark doesn't let us ask the players for autographs. I met Cal Ripken briefly. He was sitting with his family and he bought Italian ice for all of them. And I also met Matt Damon when he was in the celebrity hitting challenge. He was horrible. I said, "Better luck next round."

FM: Okay guys, how does the 7-11 hot dog compare to the Fenway frank?

Chris: It's a lot darker.

Sean: It's about an inch longer and thicker too. It's a bit denser than Fenway franks. And a little dryer. The skin's a little thicker too.

Chris: The buns at Fenway are a lot better. They look like they've been cut from a loaf.

[Down in the T-station for nuts]

FM: What's the deal with peanuts and Cracker Jacks? Are they really the most popular stuff or is that just the song?

Sean: I think the hot dogs are the biggest but there's no way to incorporate the word into the song. The nuts at Fenway are far different.

Chris: We keep them in the shell. They're quite good because they're salted on the outside.

FM: Do you ever sell them?

Chris: Not with our seniorities. They're really light and you can throw them 15 rows up. We're not senior enough.

[FM orders a pretzel for $2, at Fenway for $3. Sean and Chris attack the pretzel with mustard.]

Sean: I am all over the mustard.

Chris: I like these better than Fenway pretzels. These have sesame seeds. And they're doughier.

FM: So are you guys going to come back next season?

Sean: The ballpark is great. There's all this love and it gets me in a good mood. You get there at 5:30 p.m. before anyone else gets there. It's amazing.

Chris: When it starts up again in April again, I'll be there.

Sean: We're all big Red Sox fans, and we get to come to every game.

Chris: We have a sick amount of love for Boston.