POSTCARD FROM DALLAS

Harvard students endlessly complain about the singular lack of a social life here, by which they generally mean that they haven't been out on a date in several months. I myself have been one of them. Yet I warn all Harvardians to beware the thought that: "After school, I'll go out for sure. I'll always have a date."

Having sampled the single life in a brand new city this summer, I unfortunately have to tell you that it isn't nearly as simple outside the ivy walls as it could be here at Harvard. Take, for example, where you live. At Harvard, you live among thousands of people, at least a few of whom must share your interests and be attractive to you. In the "real world," that mystical place where everything seems so perfect, finding someone who shares your passion for the American Revolution or the anatomy of butterflies is rather more difficult than meeting them in class or through your extracurricular organization.

Aside from the fact that you'll no longer live in a dorm, you'll now have to do work both to support yourself and to support others. Which brings up a further problem. You future I-bankers--good luck. We all know how long your hours are going to be. All you med students are going to be competing against all those other pre-meds. They're not going to lose their competitive natures after college, just as you won't.

The business world, medical world or whatever world you choose to live in (barring perhaps the world of unemployment, but even that has some duties that require attention) has so many obligations and duties that your time at Harvard may seem to have been nothing more than a brief nap. And brief it is--four years is hardly a blink in the timeline of our lives. Yet these years are supposed to be the best of our lives. Why not be happy?

Go out, have fun. A date takes only a couple of hours out of your day, usually on a night when you wouldn't have accomplished a damn thing anyway. Stimulating, real conversation can be yours, without ingesting the tripe that is spewed in your core sections. A real adventure in the streets may find you, rather than having to watch Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson on video.

Harvard students are afraid of failure. Most of us have worked tirelessly to get this far, and for those who haven't, the fear is that much greater. But not finding your soul mate on your first date is not going to kill you. Indeed, you might figure out that you can't stand a certain type of person. Better to know now, than when your biological or dating clock won't stop sounding the alarm.

A date is that, a date. It is one point in time. You do not sign your soul to Lucifer merely for deciding to bask in the company of someone whom you find remotely attractive. Worst case scenario--the person with whom you're dining or having coffee passes out from actually being seen in public having a meal and interacting with another human being. Splat! Your date slumps, face-first into soup or another hot liquid, nearly drowns, scalds his or her face and requires paramedics. You've got a story to tell for the rest of your life. Your kids will beg to hear about the time you got to ride in the ambulance in college.

I want to make it clear to all of you who think it'll get better on the other side of commencement that you actually have it pretty good right here at Harvard. There are lots of people just like you who are all around the Greater Harvard Yard Planning District. And most of them would love a date.

I beg you to consider this--if you think about the number of times you've had the "there's no social life here" conversation with different people and compare it with the number of people you know, the odds are that there is a substantial number of people who feel similar, and of that number, one has to think you're cool.

Besides, consider this--not everyone is looking for his or her life partner yet. Additionally, if you take a chance once every two months, you might go on four really memorable dates. You might have to give up a couple of Saturdays of drinking and probably more than one last-ditch phone call from friends desperate to see a movie. But it will be worth it, because you will have taken a good risk.

Kids, life is too short to live it only for the future. The future is important, yes, but if you do nothing about today, there may not be a point to tomorrow. So go ahead, shatter some lonely guy or girl's misconceptions about the Harvard dating scene. You never know whom you'll meet. Or scald.

Paul S. Gutman '00 lives in Currier House. He spent the summer working in Washington, D.C.