OH THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

When Joey Cousin was 11 he saw a juggler and liked his pants.

When Alley Loeb was a junior she started listening to bird-call chants.

When Will was little he chewed without swallowing, even in the face of his parents' rants.

When Nick was a child he thought he was a monkey because he did things most humans can't.

And what did all these children grow up to be?

Harvard undergrads just like you and me.

The extraordinary talents of these individuals fall under a category far removed from boring dinner party antics. These human achievements put to shame junior varsity gags like showing fifteen grapes into the mouth, separating each and every toe ("monkey toes") or stuffing an entire Twizzler down the throat and using it as a straw. No mere tricks, these are true talents.

Mr. Gulp

To some students, eating a Pringle is a three-bite process, but as the freshman talent show revealed, Will O'Brien tends not to nibble. Will started eating clementines when he was in middle school, but unlike a normal sixth grader, he left out the chewing part. He discovered that he could gulp an entire clementine in 8 to 10 seconds. Will started swallowing whole clementines in front of large crowds and then ventured into the realm of oranges. He was successful in three public orange-swallowing appearance but on the fourth attempt he gagged and lost confidence in his ability. It's likely that the standing ovation he received at the Freshman Talent Show helped restore some of that lost confidence.

The Jumper

Nick, who wishes to maintain some level of anonymity, discovered his talent one day in gym class. While his less talented friends were trying to impress the girls by holding one leg with the opposite hand and jumping over it, Nick blew away the competition by linking his hands and jumping over them. Though Nick's favorite employment of his talent is still to impress girls, he finds that it never ceases to draw large crowds.

The Juggler

Most people don't have enough hand-eye coordination to control the items on their lunch tray. But not Joey Cousin. Not only has he never dropped a tray in Annenberg but he also happens to hold the Guinness Book of World Record title in juggling. To be precise, he has juggled the most balls individually (10) and the most balls with a partner (17). Although Joey doesn't go around advertising his amazing ability, he admits that his juggling prowess probably enhances his sexual appeal but is quick to humbly compare himself to others, saying, "I know people who have juggled three dogs."

Madame Scream

When most people look at Ally Loeb, they would never guess that a loud and horrific screech could exit her lips. However, Ally's ability to imitate the Manx Shearwater birdcall not only got her on the Dave Letterman show, but gave her the coveted opportunity to meet George Clooney and Steve Isaacson.

Mr. Spoon

With our most elusive talent we shall close

That football player who puts spoons up his nose

Oh Weidle, Oh Weidle, where do you hide?

You should look on your talent with a little more pride!

We sent message after message without any luck.

Maybe you are busy getting the spoon unstuck?