Keep Hope Alive

Even after the chaos caused by the move-in last Wednesday, administrators are still unsure whether or not to open upperclass houses earlier. Although the original reason for changing the upperclass move-in date was to reduce the number of parties before classes started, some house masters noted that parties still occurred as soon as students arrived on campus.

We at Dartboard have a simple solution: change the upperclass move-in date to coincide with the day we turn in study cards. This change in policy should solve any party problems. With only three-fourths of a day as shopping period, students would have far less idle time on their hands.

Since most of that time, undergraduates would be racing to get random signatures all over their study cards as well as investigating 200-person classes in rooms built for 40, they would be far too tired on Friday night to do anything but collapse. And since storage would only be open for three hours during that three-fourths of a Friday, house masters and administrators would be assured that every undergraduate would be in bed by 8:30.

However, if the Administration still feared that undergraduates might succumb to the unnatural urge to socialize even after such an exhausting day, they could simultaneously ban all halogen lamps (making themselves happy) and open all libraries 24 hours a day (making students happy). That should quell any fears of too much social activity.