LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU

It seems like a cruel tale of urban lore too tragic to be true. A naive student from a small town overseas comes to the big city. Only hours after he steps off the plane, all his Ph.D. dissertation research is stolen after he leaves his briefcase and bike unattended for a few minutes. Years of research vanish; even his passport and diary disappear.

Yet, for Oliver M. Schmidt, a German visiting fellow in the History Department, this bitter story rings true. While we may sympathize with his loss, we can also learn some valuable lessons from this tragedy.

If you're going to do two years of arcane academic research, don't forget to make frequent copies of your records, and keep them in a safe place. If you're not going to keep copies, at least don't keep all of your research in the same place. Well, if you insist on keeping your work all in one place, then never let it out of your sight. Keep it with you at all times.

O.K. If you're going to disregard all of these warnings, by all means do not ever--not for a second--leave two years of research notes unattended outside Lehman Hall in the Yard on a Thursday evening.

We can only speculate on what became of Oliver Schmidt's research. Perhaps one of the skate rats wandered across the street from the pit by the T station and discovered the unlocked bike. Maybe the composition books full of notes on German-American relations provided a brief diversion from the hackey-sack games favored by the tattooed, purple-haired, unwashed denizens of the pit.

Or maybe not. Perhaps an enterprising first-year student pawed through Schmidt's briefcase, discovered the research and decided to become a history concentrator.