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At first I was a little upset that Pat Buchanan had captured the New Hampshire primary, but after some reflection I'm beginning to realize that I was wrong, and that Buchanan is the one true hope for America.
After all, he seems to have truly succeeded in getting in touch with the working class, a remarkable feat considering his life-long existence as a member of the elite upper crust of Washington D.C. Of course, there were little mistakes along the way, like driving a Mercedes while preaching "America First" during the '92 campaign, but that's all behind him now.
After all, a little hypocrisy shouldn't stand in the way of economic prosperity. And Buchanan's plans for economic isolation will surely bring just that. One might be tempted to contemplate 200 years worth of economic theory regarding the gains from free trade, but why expend all that unnecessary energy when it's so much easier to retreat behind the wall of protectionism that Buchanan offers? After all, if we can't compete with Japan and Germany, why even try? Just shut them out. I'm surprised more people haven't come to this conclusion.
Of course, some people might be wary of voting for someone who is so obviously homophobic, anti-Semitic and possibly racist, but I think those concerns are highly overrated. After all, Buchanan has admitted that while growing up his family's heroes were Francisco Franco, Joseph McCarthy and Douglas McArthur, and no one who admires such great men could possibly be dangerous. The fact that Buchanan's campaign co-chair was forced to resign after being linked to white supremacist groups was obviously a result of the machinations of the liberal media.
But the best reason to vote for Buchanan was summed up by a young New Hampshire man whom I recently heard a National Public Radio talk show. He said, "I'll tell you why I voted for Buchanan in the primary. It's because everyone in my family has to work two jobs to make ends meet. I know he's a homophobe, I know he's an anti-Semite, but frankly I don't care." Who can argue with that?
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