Jordan to the Rescue?

The NBA playoffs started last night.

No response? Couldn't care less?

Can't say I blame you.

When Michael Jordan took his well-documented leave of absence, the sports world got a horrifying and revealing glimpse of just how boring the NBA could be without a legitimate superstar in its midst.

The record books say that Houston beat New York in a seven-game series last June, but does anyone remember a single play or game? It was perhaps the most disgraceful and uninteresting championship exhibition in history--slow, poorly played and undramatic.

With Jordan back, the NBA must be on its collective hands and knees now, praying that he can lead the Bulls deep into the playoffs and bring back his magic. Just how much is Jordan respected? His Bulls--a .500 team without him--have been installed as title favorites by Las Vegas odds makers, the first time in history a road team has been so honored.

But will the Bulls even get past the Hornets in the first round?

I don't think there has ever been a harder year to forecast the playoffs. As a result of free agency and salary cap implementation, there are six or seven teams that could wear the crown in June without surprising anyone.

The first round should be a cakewalk for the other three home teams in the East--Orlando, Indiana and New York. Likewise, San Antonio, Phoenix, Utah and Seattle will emerge triumphant out West, although Seattle will have a tough time dispatching of the resurgent Lakers.

The one possibility for intrigue is the aforementioned Bulls-Hornets clash. People have all but conceded this series to the Bulls, but Larry Johnson and Alonzo Mourning will work Chicago on the boards. Bulls in five.

The second round will feature some legitimately interesting matchups, tops of which pits Jordan (surprise) against rap star/free throw mangler/low post menace Shaquille O'Neal and the Magic.

A lot has been made of the immaturity of the Magic, which wound up the season playing terribly and still have never won a playoff game.

But Orlando--led by O'Neal and former Bull Horace Grant--will exploit the Bulls' Achilles Heel, rebounding, and end Jordan's return in six tough games.

Orlando will be joined in the NBA's final four by New York, Utah and San Antonio, which will make quick work of the Suns and Charles Barkley's never-to-be-realized title dreams. A Knicks-Magic matchup will be worth watching. I have always hated everything about New York, but right now it is the most complete team in the East, and it closed the year on a hot streak. The Magic will have its day in the sun, but this year it's the Knicks in seven.

After David Robinson mows through the various stiffs Utah calls centers, the Knicks and Spurs will meet in the big dance.

If nothing else, this should contain some serious on-court antics, with three serious head cases in New York's John Starks and Anthony Mason and the Spurs' Dennis Rodman.

Expect the two big men, Robinson and Patrick Ewing, to cancel each other out, thus putting the series in the hands of the supporting casts. The Knicks will put up a fight, but in the end won't have enough offensive fire-power. Game, set and championship to the Spurs in six games.

There you have it. The playoffs will feature talented players on good teams that you'll honestly root for, but there's nothing really to get passionate about on the horizon, with the possible exception of Jordan.

Come on, Michael. Prove me wrong. This is what you came back for--to show us that, even after a long layoff, there is still no one better than you. Now go out there and make us happy and revitalize the playoffs.

Please?