House of Love

As the Valentine's Day smell of roses and chocolate fades quickly into the past, FM brings romance back to campus by asking the masters of each house to share their own love stories. As the matriarchal and patriarchal figures of the house, the masters have fine-turned their relationships to a perfect balance, in contrast to our own tumultuous love lives. The beginnings of each relationship vary, but all converge to a common outcome: love and marriage as masters.

While hurrying to classes and socializing on the weekend, FM has often overheard single young adults complaining about the rarity of dating on campus. Too many forget that prime scoping location: church, Lamont Professor of Divinity Paul D. Hanson, master of Winthrop House, found divinity in more than just the sermon while a first year Near Eastern Studies PhD candidate here at Harvard. Hanson clearly remembers "that a group of us went out to lunch after church at the Peacock Restaurant...I was standing at the top of the steps and Cynthia was at the bottom and I saw her and I remember thinking that I would like to get to know her better." He introduced himself but didn't see her again for a few months. Then he decided in mid-November to "chase her down" since it was "the age of Flintstones" and "men actually paid for dates in those days." he ran into some trouble because he remembered her name as "Sophia Rosenberger," but perhaps with a little bit of heavenly intervention, he located her, and they married the following August.

While social centers like church serve as possible match-making havens, many of us never step into such environments. Single and searching, we look to our friends for assistance. Hanna Hastings, co-master of North House, first met her husband, Mangelsdorf Professor of the Natural Sciences Woodland Hastings, master of North House, at her brother's graduation at Swarthmore. Six years transpired before they met again at Johns Hopkins. She was a graduate student in History and he was a post doc. Her "brother brought him home for dinner and it was love at first sight." They had a stormy "on again, off again" courtship and when he proposed Mrs. Hastings turned to her father, who advised, "If you don't marry him now, you never will.'" She took Daddy's advice, and today she says she is "happy to see [her husband] when he comes in the door every day.

Other courtships were less complicated. Through a friend he was dating at the time, Cabot Professor of the Natural Sciences John Dowling, master of Leverett House, was introduced to co-master Judy Dowling. They "went out to lunch, found out that [they] had lots in common, and will be married for twenty years come October." No further explanation needed.

Co-masters of Lowell House William and Mary Lee Bossert met on a triple blind date, at which neither of them was set up with the other. But Cupid had his own plans. "The next day Bill called [Mrs. Bossert]" and Cupid was in the driver's seat.

Though common customs don't always traverse country lines, the "Brady Bunch" does. "[Her] two children from [her] previous marriage liked each other [so] two small families got together and built a large family." Sound familiar? It's the Striedter Bunch. Jurij and Emanuela Striedter, co-masters of Cabot House, met in Germany through a mutual friend. Mrs. Striedter owned a bookstore and Professor Striedter was buying a book; their love of knowledge brought them together in matrimony as well as to academia and residence in the United States.

Apart form churches, blind dates and book stores, where else can one find a mate? The obvious answer is to find a college sweetheart. But just how realistic is that goal? Senior Lecturer on Literature Dr. Sandra Naddaf and Dr. Leigh Hafrey, co-masters of Mather House, show that yes, one can find a lasting and meaningful relationship at Harvard. Naddaf and Hafrey met in the 1971-1972 school year at the bell desk at north House. They both lived on the second floor of Holmes, in which the bathrooms were co-ed and there was a "pretty total collective experience." He was a junior and she a first-year; they met during shopping period because, as Hafrey points out, "shopping period is a good time to look [scope] because not much is going on."

Loker Professor of English Robert Kiely spent his time here as a graduate student pursuing both his interest in English as well as his interest in a particular biology graduate student from Prague. Kiely informed FM that in his day, 6 Ash Street was the graduate women's residence. He "had lots of friends who were English grad students who lived there" and visited them often. There he met future Dr. Jana Kiely, who had studied at the Sorbonne and planned on only staying in the States for a year. Obviously she had no idea what Cupid had in mind. The Kielys' first date was a picnic at the Singing Sands Beach in Manchesterby-the-Sea and apparently the sirens enchanted them. The Kielys now comfortably inhabit Apthorp House in Adams House.

In an intense academic environment, libraries are transformed into the swingin' singles scene. While casually browsing over a book cart, Gray Professor of Systematic Botany and Kirkland House Master Donald Pfister came across more than just his required reading. He was a graduate student in mycology and Catherine, his wife and co-master, was part of the library staff at Cornell, Professor Pfister relates, "we saw each other in the library, we were going out, and we got married...the rest is history." No need for extended volumes on this relationship.

"What does this have to do with me?" you may ask. The important take-home message of these courtship tales is that lasting and stable relationships can and do happen, even at Harvard. We only need to look at the love stories of our masters as evidence.