Comedian Films Live HBO Special in Sanders

Playing to a near sell-out crowd at Sanders Theater last night, comedian Paula Poundstone treated Harvard to the proverbial "dose of reality."

On a Monday night, however, few students were in attendance. Poundstone's brash, acerbic humor found a more adult audience than that usually attending Social Analysis 10 and Justice lectures.

The room was transformed into a setting fit for Hollywood by a profusion of red velvet curtains with gold tassels, orange lighting and a three-dimensional representation of the Harvard shield. Two shows were taped consecutively and will appear on HBO on February 3.

Poundstone, wearing a blue suit and a multicolored shirt, pointed to the statue of Josiah Quincy that stands to the right side of the audience, dramatically illuminated for the show, and asked, "Is there a Harvard student here who knows who that guy is?" Nobody knew.

Next, Poundstone delved into the grisly details of academic life at Harvard. Calling on a Women's Studies concentrator in the audience, Poundstone discovered that the student attended one class yesterday.

"When you're studying women you have to pace yourself. Even Senator Packwood could tell you that. Don't do it all at once for God's sake," Poundstone quipped.

A concentrator in cognitive neuroscience, who told Poundstone that her organic chemistry professor had used "molecular molecules" in class demonstrations, fared just as badly as her friend.

But Poundstone herself did not claim intellectual superiority, saying that on the SAT, "I used a straight edge and answered all B's."

Poundstone shared her views on a variety of other topics, both personal and political.

On baby food: "It actually says not to feed the baby from the Gerber jar because it's 'unappetizing.'"

On questions encountered while filling out school forms in Marin County, California for her child: "How long can your child go without water? How much weight can your child's head withstand? In an emergency, could your child make a meringue pie?"

On her therapist: "This therapist fell asleep while I was talking to her...I tucked a blanket up under her chin and left."

On sex, or lack thereof: "You know what I can't figure out about people who have sex? When do they read?"

"I don't have sex but my manager has sex and that's enough for me," Poundstone added.

On hearing that her manager's date had requested to be handcuffed to the headboard during sex: "I told her, 'Why couldn't you just tell him, 'Couldn't I just write you out a citation this time?'"

Throughout her performance, Poundstone heckled audience members.

After asking a man in the audience, "Do you know anything about women?" Poundstone pointed to the undergraduate Women's Studies concentrator.

"Would you mind telling her?" she asked, adding, "I'm going to whip you through this women's studies stuff."

Poundstone ridiculed the idea of 1993 as the "Year of the Woman," asking, "What fat white guy came up with that phrase?"

Poundstone said the fact that six women were elected to the Senate that year was not a feat to celebrate, because women comprise 52 percent of the population of the United States. "Apparently women do suck at math," Poundstone added.

Poundstone did not stop at women's issues.

Of Will Perkins, the leader of Colorado Family Values, a group instrumental in passing the famous "antigay" amendment she said, "He can relate to homosexuals, he says, because he's a car salesman. 'People make fun of our pants and our white shoes.' Yes, that is so similar. That must be hell for you."

After poking fun at women's issues and politics, Poundstone returned to her tour of Ivy League humor, noting researchers at Stanford University have discovered why people were often tired on Monday.

"Because oftentimes, they stay up late Friday and Saturday. How could that be? Dammit, it's not possible," she joked.

Poundstone also commented on MIT's motto, "Minds and Hands."

"You know what you might be confusing that with?" she asked a former MIT student in the audience. "Head & Shoulders, knees and toes."

Poundstone concluded her show with a commentary on her tendency to talk, just before the Harvard Band stomped in with its rendition of "Ten Thousand Men of Harvard":

"If you weren't even here, I'd still be doing this. I just can't shut up...Martin Luther King could come to my hotel room tonight and say 'I had a dream,' and I'd go, 'Oh yeah, I had a dream too...'

On baby food: "It actually says not to feed the baby from the Gerber jar because it's 'unappetizing.'"

On questions encountered while filling out school forms in Marin County, California for her child: "How long can your child go without water? How much weight can your child's head withstand? In an emergency, could your child make a meringue pie?"

On her therapist: "This therapist fell asleep while I was talking to her...I tucked a blanket up under her chin and left."

On sex, or lack thereof: "You know what I can't figure out about people who have sex? When do they read?"

"I don't have sex but my manager has sex and that's enough for me," Poundstone added.

On hearing that her manager's date had requested to be handcuffed to the headboard during sex: "I told her, 'Why couldn't you just tell him, 'Couldn't I just write you out a citation this time?'"

Throughout her performance, Poundstone heckled audience members.

After asking a man in the audience, "Do you know anything about women?" Poundstone pointed to the undergraduate Women's Studies concentrator.

"Would you mind telling her?" she asked, adding, "I'm going to whip you through this women's studies stuff."

Poundstone ridiculed the idea of 1993 as the "Year of the Woman," asking, "What fat white guy came up with that phrase?"

Poundstone said the fact that six women were elected to the Senate that year was not a feat to celebrate, because women comprise 52 percent of the population of the United States. "Apparently women do suck at math," Poundstone added.

Poundstone did not stop at women's issues.

Of Will Perkins, the leader of Colorado Family Values, a group instrumental in passing the famous "antigay" amendment she said, "He can relate to homosexuals, he says, because he's a car salesman. 'People make fun of our pants and our white shoes.' Yes, that is so similar. That must be hell for you."

After poking fun at women's issues and politics, Poundstone returned to her tour of Ivy League humor, noting researchers at Stanford University have discovered why people were often tired on Monday.

"Because oftentimes, they stay up late Friday and Saturday. How could that be? Dammit, it's not possible," she joked.

Poundstone also commented on MIT's motto, "Minds and Hands."

"You know what you might be confusing that with?" she asked a former MIT student in the audience. "Head & Shoulders, knees and toes."

Poundstone concluded her show with a commentary on her tendency to talk, just before the Harvard Band stomped in with its rendition of "Ten Thousand Men of Harvard":

"If you weren't even here, I'd still be doing this. I just can't shut up...Martin Luther King could come to my hotel room tonight and say 'I had a dream,' and I'd go, 'Oh yeah, I had a dream too...'