JADE

David Caruso should not have left "N.Y.P.D. Blue." His first movie after quitting the wildly-successful, year-old television series was a remake of the 1947 gangster film "Kiss of Death." Nicholas Cage stole the movie from the light-weight Caruso as deftly and totally as Richard Widmark stole the original from the feather-weight Victor Mature. But having your first movie stolen by Nicholas Cage is not such a defeat. If your second movie is "Jade," however then you are in real trouble.

"Jade" is written by "Basic Instinct" screenwriter and quintessential dirty old man, Joe Esterhas, who also was responsible for the early-'80's hit "Flashdance." That movie was just as badly written as Esterhas' later work and has an equally offensive storyline (about an eighteen-year-old woman who is a welder by day, sexy nightclub dancer by night), but has something which most movies do not: Jennifer Beals. In the nineties, Esterhas' biggest movies ("Basic Instinct" and the recent "Showgirls") have recieved a great deal of publicity as being terribly offensive and demeaning to women. The truth is, they aren't really all that offensive, they're just bad. If you want offensive, look no farther than "Jade."

This film should offend very specific groups of people like... women. And men. And defense lawyers and prosecutors and cops and psychiatrists and politicians and all Asian people (especially Chinese-Americans) and blacks and whites and people who appreciate good movies and people who care about their seven dollars and people who like Chazz Palmintieri and redheads and brunettes and people with hazel eyes and... well, you get the picture.

The story (such as it is) focuses on San Fransisco assistant D.A. David Corelli (Caruso), who has had some sort of relationship with Trina Gavin (Linda Fiorentino), noted psychiatrist (right) and wife of Corelli's best friend, Matt Gavin (Chazz Palmintieri), the most powerful defence attorney in the city.

A wealthy businessman and friend of the governor is murdered in his home with a ceremonial axe. Corelli draws the case. Upon looking around the house, he discovers that the businessman has various collections: objects of ethnic art (like the axe), antique furniture and (class guy that he is) public hair from the women that he has bedded, which he keeps in jeweled boxes on his dresser. On one of the boxes is the Chinese character for "jade."

In the victim's safe-deposit box the cops find pictures of the governor of California and a very young, very attractive woman engaging in acts of... love? Anyway, the woman is a hooker named Patrice Jacinto (played by red-headed supermodel Angie Everheart). When Corelli goes to talk to her, she takes off and he has to chase her through the alleys of Chinatown, up fire escapes and over roof-tops. All in a day's work for an assistant district attorney. When he catches her, she tells him that she used to take money to sleep with powerful men, but that she "likes girls, mostly," which takes care of Esterhas' requisite lesbian sub-plot. She also mentions a woman who the governor used to visit regularly who "rocked his world." The woman is called Jade. Aha.

From there the movie goes down-hill. Not that it had ever really gone anywhere worthwhile in the first place. For the film to be a thriller, we must care what happens to any of the characters. We don't. For it to be a mystery, we ought to be in some doubt or confusion as to what's going on. We aren't.

The movie is directed by William Friedkin, an excellent director of action sequences and, specifically, car chases. Friedkin is tied down by a tired script, and even during the chases (there are two) he seems unable to come fully to life as he did in "The French Connection." Instead of Popeye Doyle narrowly missing a baby carriage, we have Corelli and his prey driving slowly through the middle of a parade in Chinatown, knocking people off of floats and some times coming to a dead stop trying to negotiate the crowd. In both chases Corelli escapes unscathed. He is Super-D.A.,a man who does his own investigating and who apprehends his own suspects. You have to be tough to be a D.A.. Just ask Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden.

The most interesting shot in the movie is of Chinese men spreading out mah-jong tiles. The tiles slide around the tables like a whirlpool suggesting the smooth, swirling plot the movie should have had. But we quickly return to our world of five mile-per-hour car chases and a fool chase involving Angie Everheart which, although almost anything is better with Angie Everheart than it would be without her, is awfully disappointing.

Esterhas' weak script in "Basic Instinct" was somewhat resucitated by the presence of Sharon Stone. "Jade" is not resucitated by anyone. Any movie that has Angie Everheart and Linda Fiorentino in it is of some interest on a purely visual level. However, any movie in which Angie Ever-heart gives the most believable and compelling performance has some-thing terribly wrong with it. But Chazz Palmintieri is a genuinely good actor, and when even he can't do any-thing with this movie, we know that the core must be rotten.

This movie evidently is supposed to be about a great many things: sex, power, trust, the corruption and perversion of the rich and powerful. Those themes (along with love and violence) are the most universal in any kind of art. Had "Jade" really tried to make some serious statement about there topics, it would almost certainly have failed. But it would have been much more interesting to watch than a mystery that we don't care to see solved which makes statements that we don't want to hear.