My Life at Harvard (Summer School)

.Summer In Cambridge Reveals Much to the Outside Observer

Truth be known, the Summer School Program at Harvard University is not given the same attention or respect as the Undergraduate program is between fall and spring. Not by the students, not by the upper administration. President Neil L. Rudenstine did not welcome us with a speech on the fundamentals of being a scholar. There were no a capella concerts. We had no ice cream bash.

However, for an eight-week program designed to generate revenue for the University, the teaching is taken very seriously. To the summer faculty, this is a microcosm of Harvard life. Exams are meant to be studied for. Classes will not be skipped (rather, too many classes will not be skipped). The teachers at the summer program are enthusiastic and learned, engaging in class discussions and presenting the information, as they do during the regular school year. No teacher treats their post as a counselor at summer camp.

That is not to say that the students do not treat their two months of Harvard like summer camp. Weekend trips to Martha's Vineyard or Cape Cod are popular excuses not to study. As are Red Sox games, or Institute of Politics speeches or even street musicians. Boston and Harvard offer so much to do, it becomes difficult to remember the "school" part.

The summer program also succeeds in getting students interested in attending Harvard. Although it is not a two-month sell period for the admissions officers (one wonders if Harvard needs to sell someone on coming here), the students are fed lots of glass-is-half-full information about the University. It is doubtful that a disgruntled Harvard student would stay for the summertime, but the proctors try to paint an honest picture of life in Cambridge, and it is not that bad. Here's what I have learned thus far:

1. It is nothing like what one sees in "With Honors". I know it was supposed to be based on a true story, but would a real Harvard student have only one copy of their thesis? Really now.

2. Harvard is not all work. It seems that if you want to slack nearly all term, you can, because of reading periods. As one member of the class of 1996 put it "I've never played so much Sega Soccer in my life."

3. Tourists are not cool. Does John Harvard's statue fascinate you? One daring individual actually stopped my roommate and I on our way into the Freshman Union. The man wanted to have his picture taken with "real" Harvard students. How much is too much?

4. Out-of-Town News is not necessarily where Cambridge residents (Cantabridgians) go to buy foreign newspapers. Or anything with words, usually. Those aren't avid readers you see around the corner of the aisle.

5. The Tasty is not the best place in the universe. In fact, if you eat there, you might face some serious gastro-intestinal damage. But it is the only place open at two in the morning. And most Harvard students who eat there are not sober at the time.

6. Freaks abound. You've been to Au Bon Pain. `Nuff said.

7. The Chickwich is just about all you want to eat from the dining hall. Aqua-blue colored lettuce is not where you want to be.

8. There are no new street musicians. You can see the same ones all summer long. I know that Tracy Chapman got her start in the Square, but she was probably the last one to leave. You'd think the guy with the little dog would take a hint.

9. Enjoy the heat while you have it, for Boston winters freeze the Charles all the way down. If your dorm does not have air-conditioning, it is probably because no one wants it on January 18.

10. Stairs suck. I live on the fifth floor, and have no elevator. I didn't come for the exercise.

11. The Science Center is one of the strangest buildings ever made. It was probably funny during the planning stage, but having to walk into a Polaroid Camera every day is a little odd. And there are a few too many Macintoshes in the computer lab. The line for the laser printer is so long you'd think they were giving away free tickets to "Airheads."

12. The stacks of Widener are fun. Try playing "see who can re-arrange the books fastest". Or have sex there. No joke, Harvard students are supposed to before they graduate. It's a myth, probably spawned by the fact that Harvard students never have sex.

13. Everyone loves the Crimson. No, really.

14. Movie-watching is not easy. After you've seen everything at the theater on Church Street, you want to go to Loews Fresh Pond to see something good. Take my advice: rent a video. Alewife is further away than the cute little "T" map would have you believe. And once you get there it's a nature hike to make it to the theater. You mountain-climb after crossing the most imposing bridge you never wanted to see. Not worth the effort, or the prickers.

15. Never go to Yale.

16. Go the "The Garage" home of Newbury Comics but more importantly, Beebop Burrito. You have not lived until you have gone toe-to-toe with a Super Burrito. The density and the power of a Beebop Burrito is matched only by that of the Hydrogen bomb.

17. The Harvard Lampoon is hilarious. No, really.

18. The Boston Church of Christ parties are loads of fun. Disregard whatever you have heard from your proctor or your dean. Bring your friends. Membership has its privileges.

19. If you live in a non-smoking dorm, it means that no one is allowed to smoke. Right?

20. The Charles River is the happenin-est swimmin' hole on the planet. Love that dirty water.

Maybe I haven't picked up too much pre-cal this summer, but I've learned about the real world.