Formal 'Trauma': Where to Get a Date?

With the month of May come the stress of final exams, summer job panic and graduation anxiety. And, of course, House formals.

For most students, the biggest source of anxiety is finding "the right date." Livia M. Santiago-Rosado '95 started looking for her date to the Quincy spring formal more than a month ago.

"I was stressed because I didn't have a date to the winter formal. That was kind of traumatic, so I started thinking of people to ask early because I didn't want that to happen again."

Other students searched outside Harvard's environs for a date.

Christine A. Sadlowski '94 turned to the West Coast for the evening's companion. Her blind date flew in from California for the big occasion.

"I wasn't really stressed about finding a date, I could've gone with a to have someone a little different, someone I could get to know. My roommate and I were talking and she needed a date, too. On a whim, I said, 'I'll make you a deal: I'll find you a date if you find me one.'"

A couple of phone calls and one plane flight later, Sadlowski was introduced to her date, a junior from Stanford, over dinner.

"We hit it off right away. It was very, very comfortable," she said.

For many students, another dilemma remains--how to treat the date. According to students, the etiquette of the date is a very important way of communicating the date's potential for romance.

"You can use a formal as an excuse to ask someone out without asking them out on a `date, date.' It's not like you are asking someone out to dinner for no reason," said Chi Wang '95, a Kirkland House resident.

For Santiago-Rosado the key in formal etiquette is the pre-formal dinner.

"I have friends that totally go all out for formals. They take a cab out to the North End early, have a nice dinner and then they finally show up at the formal later on--it's kind of a full evening. It's fine if you are going asjust friends, but there's no point in trying tomake a date out of it if there's no romanticinterest."

Wang agrees: "[Dinner is] only important ifyou're suing the formal as an excuse to get toknow someone you don't know that well. Then it'skind of a date thing.

For Wang, another test of the potential forromance is determined by the exchange of flowers.

"To show if you really like the person, youbring a corsage or a boutonniere. That indicateshow seriously you're going to take it." "Aspeople get older they don't bother with it anymoreFreshmen pay a lot more attention to the details,"says Wang.

The formal experience of Amelia S. Dunlop '97suggests that first-years do, indeed, take houseformals very seriously.

"We had the black Mercedes limo, he gave meroses, I gave him a boutonniere, and we went tothe North End to a restaurant called Giovanni's,It was fabulous. I think I'll definitely go to the[Eliot] Fete all four years.

Wang agrees: "[Dinner is] only important ifyou're suing the formal as an excuse to get toknow someone you don't know that well. Then it'skind of a date thing.

For Wang, another test of the potential forromance is determined by the exchange of flowers.

"To show if you really like the person, youbring a corsage or a boutonniere. That indicateshow seriously you're going to take it." "Aspeople get older they don't bother with it anymoreFreshmen pay a lot more attention to the details,"says Wang.

The formal experience of Amelia S. Dunlop '97suggests that first-years do, indeed, take houseformals very seriously.

"We had the black Mercedes limo, he gave meroses, I gave him a boutonniere, and we went tothe North End to a restaurant called Giovanni's,It was fabulous. I think I'll definitely go to the[Eliot] Fete all four years.