First Year

First-years have just turned in their housing preferences, in the process having chosen blockmates and rejected or accepted some potentially disastrous roommates. So we thought it would be a good time to reminisce about the types of people we and our friends lift behind.

But before we begin our heavily researched list, we want to warn you first-years that, well, this is the beginning of the end. You have spent the entire year trying to figure out what the hell you wrote on your prefrosh rooming form landed you with the psychos you live with. Well, it's all over now.

You never have to see or deal with them again. And even if you say you'll see them you won't--or if you do it'll be by some freak coincidence. One thing is true, however, you probably won't forget the different characters (although you will forget the names.)

Character #1: The lacrosse player across the hall whose partying friends came and puked in your bathroom.

Character # 2: His roomate, a dork who studied hard and got good grades.

Character # 3: The guy downstairs, a dork who studied hard and got the same grades you did.

Character # 4: The girl down the hall you had a crush on.

Character # 5: The girl downstairs you fooled around with freshman week and barely talked to again.

Character # 6: The weird guy you somehow decided to block with but you're not sure why.

Character # 7: The girl you decided not to block with and you know why but you sure as hell aren't going to tell her the reasons.

There are, of course, many variations and additions to this cast of characters, but just remember this: you'll find many of the same freaks living in your house, even if you get into Kirkland. And your first-year dormmates will remain just another distant memory of a chaotic first year.