First-year House Tours

Frazzled first-years, don't bother with the book. Don't listen to the house tours. FM's handy guide to the houses will tell you all you need to know--not that it matters, you'll get randomized anyway. (And remember, housing forms are due on Monday.)

Adams

Sound-bite: We're all gay and we're coming to get you.

Reality: We're mostly straight and we're coming to get you.

Cabot

Sound-bite: Of all familiar geometric shapes the circle is probably the one that has most captivated man's imagination.

Reality: Everybody transfers.

currier

Sound-byte: Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life on this planet.

Reality: Beam me up Scotty, there's no "intelligent" life in this house,

Dudley

Sound-bite: What's Dudley?

Reality: What's Dudley?

Dunster

Sound-bite: Using the campus press, granola revolutionaries overthrow the patriarchy in the name of P.C.

Reality: The hummus is the only thing more popular than pot-smoking, punk-rocking, Berkin-stock-wearing intellectuals.

Eliot

Sound-bite: If you liked the Head of the Charles, you'll love Eliot!

Reality: If you like Eliot, you loved Andover-Exeter games.

Kirkland

Sound-bite: Let me put it to you this way--without my rollerblades, man I'm nothing.

Reality: The courtyard is quiet on the weekends as residents head to final club parties or overhyped speeches at the IOP.

Leverett

Sound-bite: Yaayyyy, Leverett!!!!

Reality: While the Pizza Ring delivery person always heads for the towers--no matter what entryway you order from--no one cares because they're either trying to get warm or in the grill or playing intramurals or, well, Yaayyyy, Leverett!!!!

Lowell

Sound-bite: The next best thing to home.

Reality: ...but only if your mother was a short-order cook at the IHOP.

Mather

Visual sound-bite: Athletic team posters in the dining hall. Nuff said.

Reality: By junior year, even hackers and Trekkies are lining their window sills with beer bottle collections.

North

Sound-bite: Orgo rocks, but not too loudly.

Reality: People who live here actually want to.

Quincy

Sound-bite: Read All About It! Behaviorism Validated! New Quincy residents pick up and move to Illinois suburbs without missing a beat!

Reality: Dean Epps and son hold court in the dining hall as parties rage on the terrace and Matherites cut across the courtyard.

Winthrop

Sound-bite: All Melrose and no Beverly Hills makes Winthrop a dull house. All Melrose and no Beverly Hills makes Winthrop a dull house. All Melrose and no Beverly hills makes Winthrop a dull house.

Reality: The house that gossips together sleeps together.