Stereotyping the LWF

LWF, 20, looking for someone who understands oppression. Loves abortion rights rallies, environmentalist conferences, multicultural vegetarian cuisine. Seeks nonjudgmental person of any race, gender, age. Letters appreciated but please, no photos--they reinforce the beauty myth.

Even though Harvard students pride themselves on being a community of talented and unique individuals, we frequently speak about each other in terms of types. For example, just look at the pervasiveness of academic labels: the pre-med, the gov jock, the computer nerd, etc.

Not wanting to miss may chance to spread negative and baseless stereotypes, I now make my own contribution to the discourse of archetypes. I propose a new personality to join the gov jock and pre-med: the liberal white female, or LWF for short.

IF you have been at Harvard for any length of time, you have seen her. She is everywhere. She talks loudly and shrilly in the dining hall; she lives on your floor. In English class, she goes on at great, breathy length about "marginalization," "patriarchy," and "social stratification."

The term LWF appears to be an expansive one. Sometimes it seems as if the label applies to an entire quarter of Harvard College. But alas, it's not that simple. Not all white college women who describe themselves as "liberal" qualify as LWFs. The words "liberal," "white" and "female" acquire special meaning in the context of the LWF.

1. Liberal. The LWF isn't just liberal, she's ridiculously liberal. But not all liberals are created equal. Some issues excite the LWF much more than others. She doesn't care much about free trade or airline deregulation. Instead, the LWF is easily seduced by the sexiness of issues like abortion and affirmative action.

She is particularly fascinated by on-campus issues. When discussing such matters, research isn't necessary; anecdotal evidence reigns supreme. Like the high priestess of LWFs, Anna Quindlen of the New York times, the Harvard LWF has the uncanny ability to derive whole pieces of legislation from her subjective personal experience.

2. White. can you say "guilt complex"? The typical LWF is not only white but privileged. She comes from a solidly upper-middle-class background; she probably has a trust fund from Daddy. And she carries all the baggage of collective guilt that has been handed off to her own odious race.

The LWF is well-intentioned and makes every effort to support policies which she thinks help interesting minorities. But her understanding of their situation is woefully inadequate and naive. She supports easy solutions to racial prejudice that allow her to assuage her guilt as quickly and effectively as possible.

3. Female. Hmm... Maybe this "F" should stand for "feminist." LWFs compose the monolithic block of feminists responsible for issues like the date rape "crisis." As feminists Camille Paglia and Katie Roiphe '90 point out, these white, upper-middle-class females betray true feminism with their narrow focus on peripheral issues like date rape.

But simply sharing her characteristics with you does not give you a full sense of the LWF as a person. Allow me to share with you two revealing stories about the LWF's behavior that illuminate her personality.

Jane (real name withheld) is a LWF who goes on at great length about "the beauty myth." Of course she's probably never read the book of that title. Nevertheless, she complains about how society's standards of beauty drive women to anorexia and bulimia, and how they objectify women.

After giving her speech, Jane--who could by no objective standard be considered overweight--looks at herself in the mirror. She then proceeds to complain to all of her friends about how fat she is. Her story illustrates how LWFs frequently fail to live up to their high ideals and noble goals.

But this is not their only fault. LWFs also lack the intellectual rigor that must. accompany their strong opinions.

Jennifer (real name also withheld) is an LWF who has animal rights as her pet cause. She has adopted a vegetarian lifestyle to symbolize her solidarity with our fine four-footed friends.

A friend of Jennifer's saw her wearing an expensive leather coat. He asked her why she was betraying the global crusade for animal rights.

And what was here response, you might wonder?

"Well," she replied, after a long, thoughtful pause, "when they removed the animal's hide, it was already dead."

Campus conservatives, myself included, often don the mantle of victimization. But I now understand that we have nothing to worry about. With ideological enemies like LWFs, who needs allies?.