Please

I know, I know: before I graduate I'm supposed to have 1) flung a butter pat on the ceiling of the Harvard Union and 2) had sex in the stacks of Widener Library. Last night my roommate proposed a third requirement for graduation: everyone should ask for an extension on a paper, at least once.

"At least once?" you might be saying. "Once? I just asked for my third paper extension this week."

If you are like me, however, you're thinking about how you've never, ever asked for an extension for a paper.

I'm not bragging; I'm hanging my head in shame. There are many times I probably should've asked for an extension and didn't. I guess I'm just stubborn. Or too proud to beg. Or too scared to beg. But you know what? For the first time in my nearly three and a half semesters at Harvard, it looks like I'm going to have to beg, and I'm terrified.

Since it often helps me to talk about my fears, I've been doing some informal polling. "Have you ever asked for an extension on a paper?" I ask people. Many of them laugh. Oh yes, they've certainly asked for paper extensions; they can't believe I'm a senior and I've never done it. "You've got a lot of guilt about this, don't you," they say. Then they tell me some amazing stories, tales that should go down in Harvard folklore. I've heard about extensions-upon-extensions, masterfully-crafted excuses like you wouldn't believe, true deadline daredevils who extend everything into January and end up with sixty-plus pages facing them in the final two weeks of the term.

I think I'm ready. "The worst they can do is tell you `no,'" people have told me. This afternoon, I made that call. And while I'm waiting for the teaching fellow to get back to me, I'm reading over the informational pamphlet my friends have given me, "Asking for Your Extension." I've joined a support group. I'm remaining calm. I've admitted I have a problem, and now I'm doing something about it.

And if she says no? I'll just have to get over to Widener, immediately.

Widener. Hmmm. Maybe I could kill two birds with one stone.