Until Faith Do Us Part

No phrase equivalent to "jungle fever" exists to describe Jewish feelings about intermarriage. There are plenty of Yiddish words that refer a bit wryly to so-called "gentiles", but there is no such thing as "shtetl fever". (The shtetl is the Jewish, Eastern European "hood".)

Perhaps the lack of a catchy phrase stems from ambiguous Jewish feelings about intermarriage. A persistent fear of being responsible for the death of the religion turns some Jews into foes of mixed marriages, but it is difficult to deny happiness to those that one loves most dearly.

"In every generation," the Passover prayer book says, tyrannical rulers have risen up to try to destroy the Jewish people. Unfortunately, these ancient words continue to ring true. One cannot erase, nor can one advocate erasing, the memory of the Holocaust. The minds of older Jews still resound with the knowledge that the Jewish population is smaller than it was fifty years ago.

As a result, intermarriage has often been viewed as a threat to the survival of the Jewish populace. It is true enough that few intermarried families carry on Jewish traditions as rigorously as did the parents of the Jewish partner. Thus, the danger of losing the Judaic heritage entirely seems imminent to some otherwise rational rabbis and believers.

Another psychological complex that biases Jews against intermarriage is a constant need to prove the validity of one's background. As a small minority in the Western world, Jews often feel the oppression of Christina culture. Few American Jews don't know a few Christmas carols. Most Jewish children receive a multitude of presents on Hanukah, a minor and traditionally gift-less holiday that has become Christmas's parallel. Because so many work hard to maintain Jewish customs, Jews often disparage those who "sell out" to shopping-mall Santas and the Peanuts Christmas Special.

This situation often occurs naturally among intermarried couples. Many Jews regret the fact that a majority of mixed couples decide on Christianity as their faith. The reasons for this decision can be sorely pragmatic rather than spiritual. Few Jews who have experienced anti-Semitism even in grade school would deny that it's easier to grow up as a Christian.

Nonetheless, the truth is that intermarriage will not completely destroy the Jewish faith unless it penetrates an almost unreachable demographic sector--the Hasidim. This sect maintains a stringent brand of Judaism that has changed little in the last two and a half centuries. Even a prospective non-Jewish spouse who opted to convert would be looked on with dismay by this completely isolated group.

One faction within the Hasidic sect, however, takes an entirely opposite position. Even if you haven't seen the full-page advertisements in the New York Times, you might know that Rebbe Menachem M. Schneerson, head of the almost evangelical Lubavich sect of Hasidism, is revered as the Messiah by thousands of his followers. In fact, more people may now believe the nonegenarian rabbi to be the Messiah than believed the same of Jesus of Nazareth at the time of his death.

After considering these cases of stalwart Jewish communities, the Reform or Conservative Jew surely thinks, "Is that how I want my religion and culture to survive?" What is called" my religion" here should be called "my grandparents' religion" by such a person. Reform Judaism itself is as much an evolution of the faith as Lubavichism. Quelling intermarriage, though, is not the most altruistic way of preserving all the various sects of Judaism.

Jews have always had a mass consciousness of perils around every corner. However, though anti-Semitism still exists, the traditional insecurity of Jews has not completely instilled itself in the younger members of the faith. Furthermore, if this insecurity alone were reason enough to prohibit intermarriage, it would imply that Judaism had no other positive characteristics with which to retain its believers. Jews would have no reason to adhere to their religion except that same insecurity.

Jewish parents must offer something else to their children--a real reason to like, accept, and preserve Judaism. Rabbis must direct their efforts to "selling" the faith; it may be that being born into it is not enough reason to become a believer in this free-market, "what have you done for me lately" world. Christianity does not have to go to the same lengths; its adherents are in the majority and need few incentives to stay there. Judaism must be strengthened, though not through intolerance, to face these odds.

Intermarriage should not be looked upon as a taboo; it is the natural product of interaction between societies. On the fringes of any bordering religious or racial groups, intermarriage always occurs regardless of any doctrinal prohibitions. Despite the derogatory light in which such action is cast by some societies, intermarriage can have extremely beneficial effects.

The first of these effects is increased understanding between different cultures. When communities are forced to recognize and integrate each other, enigmas that fed xenophobia spawn interest or at least neutrality. In the extreme, intermarriage creates a considerable obstacle to racial persecutions and war based on religious beliefs. Mixed marriages also offer opportunities for personal growth. They allow spouses to immerse themselves first-hand in another culture.

Proponents of multiculturalism would oppose intermarriage on the grounds that it dilutes individual cultures by creating mixtures that assimilate the customs of both. This argument is hypocritical. The end purpose of multiculturalism is to promote understanding; its doctrine is to be accepting of all while protecting individual cultural identities. Why not accept whatever mixture of cultures a couple or family decided to adopt?

All too easily, the sociological discussion above or the particular onus of Jewish self-preservation can cloud one of the foremost reasons for intermarriage. It's easy to oppose intermarriage when you're just looking at statistics, almost impossible when you examine each case individually. Most mixed couples invoke love to counter those who disapprove of their marriages. Why should anyone stand in the way of a relationship that satisfies the two parties involved? Our society is surely libertarian enough to permit and even applaud intermarriage on that basis alone.

Daniel Altman '96 has dated several goyishe women.