Talk on `Alternative' Families

Ten students from the College and the Graduate School of Education met last night in the Lowell House Junior Common Room to discuss "redefining the traditional family."

The students related personal experiences and articulated their visions of alternative family types in the event, which was part of this year's celebration of Bisexual, Gay, and Lesbian Awareness Days.

Introducing the principal theme for the night, Mark J. Hager, a student at the School of Education, insisted that traditional notions of the "nuclear" family are "just ground into us."

He called for the formulation of a "new paradigm of the family" which would incorporate any relationship of two or more consenting individuals.

"Who has the right to say what a family is, to say that because you aren't having children, you aren't a family?" asked Hager.

Similarly, Education School student Mark A. Vosvick criticized society for forcing gays to revert to "the heterosexual paradigm" in the absence of "alternative paradigms for gays."

Sandi L. DuBowski '92, co-chair of the BGLSA, said that he does not seek a paradigm. Rather, he said he feels liberated by his individuality.

But Vosvick argued that after college, people must "re-embrace inter-personal relationships." Establishing independence is only a stage of psychological development, he said.

Vosvick criticized social attitudes, which he said make it difficult for same-sex couples to use such methods as artificial insemination to have biological children.

"Just because I'm gay does not necessarily mean that I don't want to have blood ties with my kids," he said.

Positive Experiences

Panelists lamented society's mistreatment of gays but noted their positive experiences in "alternative" families.

Susan C. Margolin '93 said, "I grew from finding out my sister was a lesbian." The news prompted Margolin to question "my own sexuality and everybody else's," she said.

Hannah J. Feldman '92 claimed that discovering her mother was a lesbian forced her reevaluate her own behavior.

"Everything became a choice," she said, adding that she realized that heterosexuality was not her only option.

Acceptance may be getting easier for the younger generation of the gay community, according to several panelists, who cited the existence of gay awareness programs at private high schools like Milton and Andover Academies.