Yes, I'm Bored. And I Like It.

To the Editors of The Crimson:

I was bored this evening so I took a few minutes to read The Crimson. I was diappointed to read Michael Grunwald's editorial (September 16) about Alan Caruba, king of the anti-boredom campaign. I like being bored and I'm not the slightest bit embarrassed by it. There's nothing I can think of that's more fun than waking up late on a Sunday, reading the paper, taking a long nap, watching a golf tournament on TV and calling it an early night.

Most peope who say they don't like being bored are liars. Everyone always complains about how bored they are over the summer, but as soon as things get going for school, they wish they were home deciding whether to watch a rerun of Mr. Ed or the Flinstones.

When you pin people down on things they like to do, the suggestions they offer are normally uninteresting. More than anything else, Americans like to eat--which is second only to sleeping in its boredom value. A small minority like to exercise, but the jogging fad of the 1980s was quickly displaced by the walking craze (since exerting yourself too much isn't good for you).

A lot of Americans like to watch TV, but what they actually choose to watch is really dull. Few realize that the most watched sport (and the most popular in terms of participation) is bowling. And I'm certainly not the only one who's curled up to watch the Greater Greensboro Open on CBS with my favorite, monotoned announcer, Pat Summerall.

No one will admit it, but I'm sure everybody reading this letter has watched a nice cooking show at some time or another. No one except a few college students watches "exciting" shows like "Nightline." That's why it's on at 11:30 at night.

I try to avoid excitement at all costs. Exciting things are ultimately disruptive. I used to root enthusiastically for my favorite sports teams, but more often than not that just led to diappointment. Red Sox fans were quite excited when their team made it to the 1986 World Series. Most of them are still sulking about Bill Buckner's blunder. The truth is that they would have been much better off if the team had just won 75 games or so. Then they could have immediately begun complaining about the team's pitching woes and their prospects for the next season.

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is a popular saying that implies that periods of excitement followed by periods of disappointment are better than a constant dull boredom. I don't buy it. Having a girlfriend is very exciting, but it's also really confusing.

Ultimately, the relationships end and that's even worse. The last time I broke up with a girlfriend, I couldn't eat for two weeks. One time I passed out on the floor and hit my head. I didn't like that.

My favorite person in the world is my dad and he's not very exciting. He likes to fall asleep in front of the TV, which is just fine by me. He and I like to go bowling or to the racetrack on weekends and then go out for pizza. Sometimes he brings me a chocolate chip cookie when he comes home from work. He's also probably the best dad in the world.

What gets me about this whole thing is the hypocrisy of the anti-boring movement. America is a boring and lazy society and there's no shame in that. Doubtless the Japanese will surpass us in most things if they haven't already. So what? It just means that their culture is adaptively superior to ours. To say that Americans are slothful and boring isn't any sort of value judgement. Boring isn't a pejorative term, it's just a state of being, and there should be no stigma attached to it.

Harvard students might claim that unlike the rest of the country, they are really exciting. I don't think there's much to this. Most Harvard students have lots of opportunities to take small seminars which are really exciting, but most choose to take really large lecture classes where they can sneak in a nap or two every now and then.

Chickwiches are really boring, but students spend a significant amount of time talking about them. I've been to about five Din and Tonics concerts, and they're pretty boring. I think they will sing the same songs forever.

This guy Caruba, founder of "National Anti-Boredom Month" and president of the Boredom Party doesn't sound all that exciting to me. He gets eight hours of sleep a night plus "nappies" (his word) and says that his sex life is mostly a happy memory. He likes to drink sherry, smoke cigars and snack on chocolate. Sounds pretty boring to me.

His list of things to do to cure boredom is pretty preposterous. Here are some things he says you should do instead of watching TV: learn to knit, learn to square dance, take up birdwatching, paint watercolors, learn to fly, visit a shut-in, be a tutor or write a letter. I'd rather watch a good "Brady Bunch" rerun any day.

As a matter of fact, I don't even understand half of the things that he lists. Does he want me to walk up to someone on the street and start tutoring them? And what is a shut-in anyway? If it's someone who likes to be left alone then wouldn't you be doing them a disservice by visiting them? Maybe that's to whom you should write the letter.

I, for one, will continue to be skeptical of nitwits like-Alan Caruba who try to tell us what to do. Especially someone like Mr. Caruba who thinks that baking cookies is more exciting than watching television. Watching someone bake cookies on television, however, might be a different story. Evan Mandery '89