Shop 'Til You Drop

HAVING A HARD TIME picking classes? Stressing over the endless possibilities? Can't find courses in your major? Missing half your shopping time because you're celebrating Yom Kippur or because your classroom is being used as a synagogue?

Tired of staying past the first few minutes of any class, but afraid that you'll miss some important evaluation material that would change your mind and afford you, perhaps, the most rewarding and educationally important class of your college career, a class that would make all four years of college drudgery worthwhile?

Don't worry. Just photocopy this handy evaluation form and take it to every class you shop. Stay long enough to answer all the questions and then rate your score with the guide at the end of the article.

This is guaranteed to be the easiest and least painful way to pick your courses.

1. For this class, I have to wake up:

a. after "Days of Our Lives"

b. at lunchtime

c. before they make the first batch of Dunkin' Donuts

2. The classroom is:

a. next door

b. on the shuttle bus route

c. two blocks past the Science Center, one block right, through the alley, across the street and two doors down from the grocery store

3. The class meets:

a. twice during the semester

b. two hours a week with a one-hour section

c. for three two-hour sessions, two one-hour sections and a four-hour movie screening

4. The teacher speaks:

a. in English, in full sentences and in fully enunciated syllables

b. in mumbling English

c. something else, and very loud

5. The syllabus:

a. fits on an index card

b. is two pages long, but with a long paragraph on the grading policy

c. is longer than the second reading assignment (it is the first reading assignment)

6. The reading list includes:

a. one book by the professor

b. a book, two articles by the professor and several other selections from the chair of the department

c. only books by the professor

7. I am sitting:

a. in a chair with a functional arm desk

b. on the floor, but with something to lean against

c. so high up in Sanders Theater that I can only see the top of the professor's head

8. The grading is based on:

a. heavily curved papers, with optional exams

b. papers, sections and a final exam

c. daily quizzes

9. The TF's are:

a. really cool graduate students

b. graduate students

c. ex-marine drill instructors

10. This course fulfills:

a. an elective

b. a concentration requirement

c. a Core requirement

To rate your score:

This system should be very familiar to Harvard students. A's are good, B's are irrelevant and C's are bad.

Happy Shopping!