WHO SAYS OPPOSITES ATTRACT?

Certainly Not Many of Harvard's Couples, Whose Attachments Suggest That the College's True Social Organizations Are Neither Fraternities Nor Final Clubs, But Extracurricular Establishments

A New York Times story a few years ago about the first year at Harvard revealed that most students find themselves depressed frequently and wade through these low times by watching hours upon end of television. The reason for their depression? Loneliness.

On the surface, it would seem that everything about Harvard discourages any semblance of a dating scene. First, there's the amount of work students here can't seem to get away from. But second and more significant (for most of us, anyway), is the structure of social life on campus. At a College of approximately 6400 students, the only established campus social organizations are exclusive and cater to a small fraction of the undergraduate populace.

The result of this social structure is an interesting phenomenon--the organization couple. In other words, Harvard's true social organizations seem to be neither fraternities nor final clubs but extracurricular establishments.

Indeed, the organization-couple-effect can be witnessed in the upper echelons of Perspective, Lighthouse, Phillips Brooks House Association, The Independent and even The Crimson, to name just a few institutions.

And who's to say the phenomenon is not everywhere? One of the couples interviewed met while lifeguarding at the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC). Quite possibly there are Room 13 couples (do they spend their time "understanding" each other and conversing in quiet, subdued tones of pure sympathy?), house grill couples--maybe even a Currier House bell's desk couple or two.

The sheer number of these organization couples suggests that the big rarity around campus is the "regular couple," or the couple who met at a party or in a section. Scott A. Berney '91 met his love on the band bus to Washington, D.C. He played the drums, she played the flute. And ever since that trip at the end of their first year, he and Amy E. Mainville '91 have been a couplet.

Indeed, the most common duos seem to be couples who work, dance, swim, legislate, protest or pray together in an 'official' capacity. In so many ways, these couples challenge the old notion that opposites attract.

Jack S. Levy '92, for example, says he vaguely knew Ariela R. Dubler '94 during his high school days at Ramaz in New York City. Ariela was two years younger than Jack and knew him merely as the popular guy who was president of the student body. But when she arrived at Hillel for the first time this year, Levy decided that it was time to make up for his past mistake and talk with her. A few months later, the two were an official couple--ironically, they started going out at the end of Levy's term as Hillel chair.

Being active in the Hillel strengthens Levy and Dubler's relationship, they say, and this is for the simple reason that they find themselves together more often.

Of course, some, like Jonathan K. Hanson '92 and Bonni N. Grant '92 never had this problem. In fact, it seems as if the two were destined to be together even before they arrived at Harvard. They both lived in Grays West, the two were the only students their first year to have Dean of the College Archie C. Epps III for an academic advisor, and both were singers--he in the Glee Club, she in the Radcliffe Choral Society. Now the two are on the Undergraduate Council together.

The simple fact is that being on the same organization makes it easier to meet. Thomas B. Watson '91 met his boyfriend, David Schnur of the Kennedy School, at a Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian Students Association dance, an organization for which they both work.

Aleksi I. Suvanto '92 and his girlfriend Juliet E. McMains '94, both dance teachers for CityStep, say they enjoy the fact that they have so much in common. McMains has approximately four hours of dance classes a day. The convenience of being in CityStep together makes it easier to spend time together, and makes their work more enjoyable.

Their shared interest carries over into their after-hours fun as well-'dirty dancing' is high on their list of evening activities.

Business Before Pleasure

Charles S. Gilman '92 and Frances J. Pang '91 say they too enjoy being able to spend time together--both are lifeguards at the MAC pool, and they even share a shift together. This duo brings up one problem with being an 'organization couple' with which many would find difficulty sympathizing: Gilman and Pang complain that they "don't even sit on the same side of the pool."

To make up for this disappointing fact, the two signal to each other across the water.

Love will find a way, I guess.