Towerscam

With the help of sophisticated surveillance equipment, The Crimson was able to intercept a three-way conference call from Washington on Sunday, February 12,1989.

The call was between President Bush, who has promised his Administration will avoid even the "appearance" of wrong-doing; "ethics czar" C. Boyden Gray, who has been accused of violating ethics rules because he recently received money from his family business; and Secretary of Defense nominee John G. Tower, whom the Senate Armed Services Committee, headed by Sam Nunn (D-Ga.), refuses to confirm because of allegations of his drinking, womanizing, accepting illegal campaign contributions and consulting defense contractors after retiring from the Senate and the Armed Services Committee in 1984.

The following are excerpts from the 37-minute conversation.

Bush: How are ya' boys? Looks like I made a big hit with that speech I gave a couple weeks ago on the ethics thing. I sure am proud that we can finally get rid of that sleazy aura that Ronnie's Californians brought to Washington. My soul hasn't felt so pure since the good old days at Yale when me and the boys were hanging out at Skull and Bones.

Gray: Yeah, I've been feeling kind of good lately, too. I finally got that Bill Safire off my back. He was giving me a hard time in his Times column just because I was running my family business. Those Reagan boys never told me collecting outside money was a conflict of interest. Anyway, I just resigned from the company.

Bush: Gee, that's great Boydsy. How 'bout you, Johnny T? Whatcha been up to lately?

Tower: Funny you should ask George. I was just thinking about that last night at the Palm when my date and I were polishing off our second bottle of wine. I suddenly remembered my doctor told me to have only two glasses a day. Usually, I'm a man of such discipline--I don't know what's happening to me. I feel a little like a rebel, like those days in the '60's when you and I were the only Republicans in Texas, and we used to joke about holding our convention in a phone booth.

Gray: Hey, you know Johnny, you should try to hold that drinking down. I know how much drinking means to you--how it helps you relax around the women and all--but I'm not so sure you should take the risk while the Senate's still considering your nomination. I hear Sam Nunn is a real tight-ass. From the way he's talking, you'd think he never took a drink in his life.

Bush: Boydsy's right, Johnny. You're having a hard enough time convincing those Senate boys the $750 Grand you got from those defense contractors won't result in a conflict of interest when you become secretary. I mean, I know you have the discipline to stay out of things that could help your former bosses, but you still gotta convince that committee. That's gonna be even tougher now that they think that campaign contribution you received was illegal.

Tower: Yeah, you're right George. I talked about this type of thing with Danny Q. when we were campaigning together. Danny was telling me how that damned liberal press was giving him such a hard time for serving in the National Guard during 'Nam. I told him not to worry because those damned limp wrists knew more about the weather in Ottawa in the late '60s than they did about what our boys were doing in Southeast Asia. Still, I think you and Boydsy are right. I don't want them after me.

Bush: I'm proud of the way you're standing up to that Nunn guy, Johnny. It reminds me of the time I stood up to Dan Rather when he gave me shit about Iran-Contra. I can't believe Nunn's worried about your social life when you were negotiating in Geneva. You'd think he never got turned on by a little piece of ass. I mean, if you're negotiating arms controls with the Ruskies, wouldn't you be getting a little horny, Boydsy?

Tower: I'm damn glad you're sticking behind me, George. A while ago, I almost believed those press reports that you didn't think I had the discipline to manage Pentagon reform after I rammed Ron's defense buildup through the Senate. You know, George, if the stink about my seeing that Russian woman down in Houston taught me anything, it's that sometimes it's better to have a little restraint, even if it means turning down a piece of ass.

Bush: That's what I like to hear, Johnny. Hey, Boydsy, why don't the three of us get together this weekend for a few drinks? It'll be just like old times when I was V.P., and we used to have boys' night out. Come on, what d'ya say?