Life as the Corsican Brothers

"We're similar to the Corsican brothers," Jim Masland says.

Jim and Jon Masland, who played on the Harvard varsity squash team this year, just may be the next Corsican brothers--although a better description might be Cheech and Chong, the comedians who played the Corsican brothers.

"We have an inverse relationship," Jim says. "When I lift weights, Jon gets bigger."

"The calmer I get, the angrier he gets," Jon says. "During the tennis season, when I was calm, Jim was angry. When I got mad, Jim was calm."

"After I screwed up my leg, Jon screwed up his," Jim adds. "He's like my alter-ego."

Jim, a Winthrop House sophomore, probably has the most unusual, if not interesting reason for coming to Harvard. "I came to Harvard, because I wanted to go to Yale," he says. "I also like the Charles River. It's spiritual. There's excellent food up here also."

Jon quickly adds, "but not in the Union."

Jon had slightly different reasons for coming to Harvard. "I picked Harvard because of the academics and the squash program," he says. "I was also psyched to be with my elder brother."

Their real interests as youngsters were soccer and tennis, but they both started playing squash as a hobby when they were about nine or 10 years old. "We played squash in between the soccer and tennis seasons," Jim says.

But they both gave up tennis because "it was boring" and became serious about squash.

Jim and Jon have been on the same teams all through their lives, so they have never played against each other competitively.

But Jim quickly jumps in that they had to play challenge matches. "We had to play challenge matches in high school, which I always won," Jim says.

"But I used to win in ping-pong," Jon says.

"Yeah, that was how we evened things out," Jim says.

Jim and Jon support each other, but hate to watch the other one play a match. "Neither of us can watch the other play," Jim says. "I think we both get nervous when the other one is playing."

"I'll watch him play when it isn't a close match," Jon adds.

"I get angry more than anything," Jim says. "It's like an emotion."

Having an older brother has been benificial for Jon. "It's great having an older brother here," Jon says. "We've become really good friends. He's someone that I can rap with. It's nice to have someone from your family here."

"It's like having the whole family here," Jim says. "He's a mentor, especially when it comes to lifting weights. I can go over to his room and attack him, and that's fine. It's like having a therapist here. We've become a lot closer since high school. We're both gaining the Harvardian experience."

Jim and Jon do a lot of things together outside of the squash courts. They see each other every day. "He comes down to the river a lot, which is our guiding force," Jim says. "We talk to each other every day. We eat fairly often together also. He's my Sigmund Freud."

The last thing the Maslands will do this month is play Jack and George Polsky in doubles squash. We're going to dog them," Jon says. "It's going to be ugly."

"Jack is going to contract another groin injury, and George is going to be saying 'like dude, where's the front wall.' It's not even going to be close," Jim says.

"Jim is the consumate animal player; he is more cunning than a grey fox, swifter than a spring buck, and with his nautilus training, stronger than a wooly mammoth," Jack says.

"Jon is Scrappy-doo," George says. "If you give him some scrappy-snacks, it's all over."

"There's a rumor that [Harvard Coach Dave Fish] throws some scrappy-snacks into the corners of the court to perk Jon up," Jack says. "Jon has also been known to bark a lot."

"In my opinion, they will both feel pain," Jack says. "They both will feel our wrath. They need more refinement. It should be a learning experience for them." Last Saturday, the Maslands walked out of Hemenway Gymnasium after playing a little squash, probably thinking of their upcoming dogfight against the Polskys.