Pete Carril's Sleeping Pill

People who claim that baseball is the most boring sport to watch obviously have never seen Princeton play basketball.

The Tigers, under 21-year veteran Coach Pete Carril, use an offensive strategy that is basketball's equivalent of the sleeper hold. The fans, the referees, and even some of the players fall asleep when Princeton has the ball.

Carril's favorite offensive setup has guards Dave Orlandini and Tim Neff flipping the ball back and forth between themselves out by the half-court line, waiting for the 45-second clock to wind down to about five or six seconds. Then Orlandini or forward Bob Scrabis takes a three-point shot.

If the triple goes in--as it does with alarming frequency--the Tigers have three points and five frustrated opponents. If it doesn't drop, then the Tigers sometimes scoop up the loose rebound, and get set for another countdown, without bothering to wake anyone.

And when things are going especially well for Carril and his sandmen, there will be a kicked ball or a foul which resets the 45-second clock. Then the Tiger guards get to play another game of catch. Whoopee.

I hate watching Princeton play basketball. It's almost as much fun as listening to golf on the radio.

There aren't even any player changes or new faces to break the monotony. Carril leaves his players in games as long as the Kremlin leaves its troops in "friendly" territories. The starting five for the Tigers--Orlandini, Scrabis, Neff, center Kit Mueller, and point-forward John Thompson--all average more than 35 minutes an outing. In comparison, the only Harvard player on the court more than 35 minutes a game is point guard Mike Gielen.

Slowing down the tempo of the game limits the scoring. Princeton yields only 54.2 points per game, while netting only 63.9 points a game. Without the three-point shot, which the Tigers sink at an amazing 48 percent clip, scoring in Princeton games might be as low as Paul Simon's earlobes.

But who am I to complain? Carril's strategy may be boring to watch, but it is very effective. Princeton, which holds a 13-6 record this year, boasts impressive wins over Seton Hall, Lehigh, and San Francisco. And the Tigers' six losses have all been by fewer than five points.

The slow-down style guarantees that Princeton is never completely outmatched in a game. If the three point shooters are hot, the Tigers can beat just about anybody.

A few years back, Villanova proved that the slow dance can produce miracles. Slowing down the NCAA championship game to a standstill, Rollie Massamino's men defeated a very talented Georgetown team for the national title.

There are a lot of differences between that Villanova team and the Princeton squad. The Tigers use the slow offense all the time while Villanova used it just for that game.

And Princeton certainly isn't going to win the NCAA tournament. The Tigers won't even make it unless they slip past Cornell and Dartmouth to win the Ivy League.

But Princeton has a very good team, and a great program. Carril's career record at Princeton is 354-198. He has beaten Harvard in 32 of the 39 times he has faced the Crimson.

To put it simply, Carril's strategy is boring, boring, boring. But he wins.

And that may be the main reason why I hate to watch Princeton play basketball.