All Want For Christmas...

Columnists often assume the power of God in their condemnations of people and places. But today I'm going to wear the mantle of a lesser divinity, Santa Claus.

I'm looking down a wish list compiled by members of the Harvard athletic community. Some of the requests are rather surprising.

Hockey Coach Bill Cleary is not asking for an ECAC Championship or an NCAA Tournament crown, things his team seems capable of winning on its own. All he wants for Christmas is a pot of beans.

The Crimson has not won the Beanpot Tournament--the annual February get-together of Boston's four hockey powers (Harvard, Boston College, Boston University and Northeastern)--in eight years. In fact, the Crimson has not advanced beyond the first game in eight years.

The consolation game has never offered much consolation to Harvard. If the team wanted to skate in front of empty seats, it could call a midnight practice at Bright Center.

Harvard faces B.C. in the first round of this year's 'Pot on Februrary 6. The Crimson nipped the Eagles, 4-3, at Bright in late November. But don't expect Harvard to be as successful this time.

The ice surface at Boston Garden is small and rough. Skating skills, a Harvard staple, are not as important as bruising skills. A hockey maxim: bigger players are better on a small ice surface. And B.C. is bigger.

Harvard basketball Coach Peter Roby is asking for an Ivy League championship. Of course, he has asked for an Ivy title for the last three years.

He's like the little boy who every year asks for a train set and every year gets a pair of long underwear.

Harvard has a fine backcourt. Guards Mike Gielen and Ralph James are as good as any pair in the league. Small forward Neil Phillips can hold his own with anyone.

The frontcourt has been strengthened this year by the addition of freshman Ron Mitchell.

Can these players pull together and bring Harvard its first Ivy championship?

The Crimson's chief competition will come from Dartmouth (with sharp-shooter Jim Barton) and the University of Pennsylvania (a recent winner over nationally-ranked Villanova).

I forget, coach, do you wear large or extra large?

Check out your neighborhood New Year's party for some athletic fun couples:

Kevan Melrose and the crowd at Bright Center: Melrose, a bruising defenseman, likes to think of himself as the Crimson enforcer. Offend him and you're likely to be greeting the glass face-to-face or dusting ice chips off your rear. Melrose's police state tactics have earned the adoration of the crowd but the reprimand of referees (Melrose's 44 penalty minutes lead the team). Whenever Melrose is sent to the penalty box, the crowd gives him a loud cheer.

Joe Restic and Carm Cozza: This year's Harvard-Yale football contest, dubiously referred to as The Game, was highlighted not by stellar play--both teams entered with losing records--but by the humor of the coaches. Restic, Harvard's gray-haired giant, entertained the post-game media throng with jokes about how he and Cozza decide on the winner of The Game before it starts.

An equal distribution of victories, Restic claimed, keeps the alumni at both schools happy--and keeps Restic and Cozza employed.

Larry MacElreavy and Doug Jackson: Jackson, the Columbia football team's assistant coach, recently revealed that MacElreavy, the Lions' head coach, is an alcoholic.

MacElreavy resigned.

Thanks for the memories.

Tony Eason and Doug Flutie: Eason, recently crowned the New England Patriots' starting quarterback, is likely to get a friendlier greeting tomorrow in Denver than he did last Sunday at Sullivan Stadium. When Eason stood behind the center at the beginning of the game, he was booed loudly.

It's not easy replacing a hometown hero. A lot of folks at Sullivan Stadium paid to see Flutie. Imagine going to a screening of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and finding Dr. Ruth playing the lead.

The Miami Heat and the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers: The Heat, the National Basketball Association's version of the Columbia football team, established a record for season opening futility by losing its first 17 games. But the expansion club avoided the NBA record of 20 straight losses in a season (set by the '72-73 76ers) by beating the Los Angeles Clippers, 89-88, two nights ago.

The heat's off the Heat.