Mark My Words

My mother almost went to Bowling Green for college, so she considers herself something of an expert on the school.

When she was a bleary-eyed high school senior 20 years ago, she was given a tour of the southern Ohio campus by my grandfather. She liked what she saw--a bunch of people getting drunk and doing genetic research. It was the place for her, she said.

My grandfather didn't think so. He sent her to Baldwin-Wallace College, an obscure place of higher learning that lacked two things that Bowling Green could point to with pride: hockey and fruit files.

As you may or may not have heard by now, Bowling Green is Harvard's quarterfinal opponent in the NCAA Ice Hockey Tournament. A two-game, total-goals series is scheduled for tomorrow and Saturday nights at Bright Center.

The Falcons are sweeping in for a showdown. And everyone is wondering: who are these strange birds? And where do they come from?

My mother knows best. Ever since the day my grandfather said no way to Bowling Green, she's been an avid Falcon fan. She knows the school--and the team--from beak to toe.

So I called her on the phone and hit her with 10 vital questions about Bowling Green.

1. What exactly is Bowling Green?

"It's both a university and a town in southern Ohio. The school was founded in 1914 as a teacher's college and since has blossomed into a full-fledged university, with 725 faculty members and 17,000 students."

2. Is bowling permitted on campus?

"Only on Friday nights. The rest of the time you have to take a shuttle bus to nearby Huron. Even there, though, you can only bowl duckpins. Bowlers are encouraged to spend their four-year undergraduate careers elsewhere. However, full-time bowling privileges are extended to graduate students with a 3.0 average or above."

3. Is green one of the school colors?

"No. The school colors are burnt orange and seal brown."

4. What does seal brown look like?

"It looks kind of green.

5. What about the fruit files?

"Bowling Green has two major Science buildings--the National Drosphila Species Center and the Mid-American Stock Center. Not only world-renowned scientists, but 400 species of fruit files make their home there. All genetic research must go by way of the fruit fly. And all fruit files must go by way of Bowling Green."

6. Has the Bowling Green hockey team ever allowed a penalty shot goal?

"No. The last time Bowling Green even allowed a penalty shot was in November of 1984. Clarkson's Charlie Meitner (the guy who later broke Scott Fusco's collarbone) tried to put one past Wayne Collins. But Collins came up big."

7. Is Collins still the goalie?

"No. The Falcon twines are tended very skillfully these days by Gary Kruzich, a first-team All-America. He may be the best player on the team. He's also the shortest--he's only 5-ft., 5-in."

8. What is Gary's favorite kind of music?

"He likes two brands--country and western."

9. Harvard has never defeated Michigan State. In fact, the Crimson lost to the Spartans in the NCAA Tournament final last year. How has BG done against MSU this year?

"Not so good. The Falcons are 0-4-1 against the Spartans this season. This includes a 4-3 overtime loss in the CCHA Tournament championship game."

10. What does all this mean?

"Absolutely nothing. When the puck drops, all the facts go out the window and take off like fruit files."