Can't Wait For a Match-up of the Mediocre

Forget the Miami-Oklahoma football game. The match-up I'm holding my breath for is the Brown-Yale men's hockey showdown January 13 in Providence.

This will be a battle of the giants of mediocrity. The once-mighty Elis (two years ago they were ranked higher than Harvard in national polls) and Brown (a respectable 8-14 last season) find themselves with 0-6 league records.

Bad starts? The two teams never left the blocks. Heck, the Elis and Bruins are still tying their shoelaces. The rest of the field already has been around the track a few times.

This season, Yale had the distinction of losing to Dartmouth at home for the first time ever. Meanwhile, Brown dropped a 3-2 squeezer to Army, which plays hockey in combat boots.

What's worse for both squads--and fine for the rest of the league--is that Brown and Yale are travelling partners. ECAC teams play them back-to-back on any given weekend.

You can just hear St. Lawrence Coach Joe Marsh addressing his crew before a Brown-Yale weekend.

"Okay, guys, this is your biggest challenge to date. These games will test your fortitude, your mettle, your worthiness to call yourselves the Larries."

Of course, he'll be talking to his JV team.

Just imagine the Harvard football team facing Columbia and St. Cloud State Teacher's College on back-to-back Saturdays and you get the idea.

If teams see Brown and Yale on their schedules, they make two big slashes in the win column even before the games start. Coaches cancel practices and hold figure skating competitions.

For Harvard, the Brown-Yale weekend used to be one of the most difficult of the year--especially on the road. The Crimson had to invade Meehan Auditorium, where you can hear the mice digging in the basement and the snores of the 2000 or so people who show up for the game.

Then, it was on to The Whale--that fish-like structure where only Elis swim. Meanwhile, the invading scuba divers get bogged down in slush knee deep. Hey, does anyone have a shovel?

Just in Time

Last year at Meehan, the Crimson--the team that won the ECAC title, remember?--fell asleep along with the spectators and awoke to find itself in a heated battle with the Bruins. The Crimson regained consciousness in time to snag a 3-2 victory. But if not for the inspired play of back-up goalie John Devin, Harvard would have been the sad victim of Meehan malaise.

Last year, Harvard didn't fare well in The Whale. The Crimson sailed in with a 15-0 record (the best start in Harvard history) only to run into a few icebergs and sink, 4-2. It was to be one of only two league losses the Crimson suffered. The other was to eventual ECAC runner-up St. Lawrence on the last day of the regular season.

This year against Brown, Harvard breezed to a 3-0 lead in the first period and coasted to a 5-0 triumph. The Crimson started an untouted freshman goaltender, Michael Francis, and he recorded a shutout in his first varsity start.

Easy. But not as easy as the Yale game.

Maybe Yale was still suffering from the indignity of falling to Dartmouth, 2-1, the previous night. Maybe the rink operator forgot to turn the thermostat up to its usual 150 degrees. Whatever the reason, the Elis plodded and the Crimson soared to a 7-2 victory, its first at The Whale in 10 years.

So save some of your holiday cheers for the Bruins and Elis. They could use them.