Self-Examination

THOUGHTS from Emerson 105 during the Moral Reasoning 12 exam:

Are the exam proctors carrying concealed weapons?

What if I grabbed one of their little plastic badges and told everyone to commence shredding their bluebooks?

Has anyone ever just stood up and started yelling obscenities during an exam? What would happen? Would the police come and haul you away? Would they give everyone else in the room extra time?

Who's pitching for the Red Sox tonight?

Did you know that Joan Bok is no relation whatsoever to Derek Bok?

Who is Joan Bok?

Would Derek Bok like to take exams?

Will he take mine?

Would Derek Bok pass the QRR?

Would Dan Steiner pass him answers?

Who was greater Ted Williams or Joe DiMaggio?

What's worse, exams or storage?

I'd put my super against any exam proctor, 15 rounds, winner take all. Is "all" better than a B-plus on this exam?

Speaking of supers, someone is making a big profit on that white gummy poster stuff. Who? Joan Bok?

Was the old Saturday Night Live that good or is the current version that bad? Are we that old?

What's uglier, Mather House or the shanties? That one's easy: the new Au Bon Pain.

Doesn't it seem like the same five movies have been playing at the Harvard Square Theatre since September?

If you could take one for just a season, Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays?

What's the next project for the Undergraduate Council that brought us chocolate milk? Maybe bendy straws. Don't they have to hold a referendum before they order them?

Doesn't it seem like it's been at least a few weeks since the last council poll? What's wrong? Is representative government failing?

Did you know that Herrell's now opens at 7:30 a.m.? What are they serving bagel ice cream with bacon smoosh-ins? If you worked there, would you be mortified every time you asked, "would you like some smoosh-ins?"

Why did someone call The Crimson today and ask where the hockey hall of fame is?

Who'll be the first to Cooperstown, Clemens or Gooden?

This is a Moral Reasoning exam, if I'm neither moral nor reasonable can I pass?

Did you know that a Harvard graduate is playing in the Stanley Cup finals for the Calgary Flames? Did you know another Harvard grad is playing for the Red Sox?

Did you know that actor Tommie Lee Jones once played football at Harvard? Maybe he got the Coal Miner's Daughter to take his exams.

What happens if two proctors have to go to the bathroom at the same time? Who goes with the proctors when they go to the bathroom?

They say the hardest thing about Harvard is getting in. I say it's question 2.

And by the way Professor Weinreb, what did Rousseau say about the noble savage? And do you capitalize General Will? If I abbreviate it as GW will you think I'm snide? If I'm really snide will you think I know everything, or at least let me into the Law School?

If I am neither noble nor savage, will I still get dates? And what after-shave lotion will I use?

One more question.

Did you know I hate exams?