News

HMS Is Facing a Deficit. Under Trump, Some Fear It May Get Worse.

News

Cambridge Police Respond to Three Armed Robberies Over Holiday Weekend

News

What’s Next for Harvard’s Legacy of Slavery Initiative?

News

MassDOT Adds Unpopular Train Layover to Allston I-90 Project in Sudden Reversal

News

Denied Winter Campus Housing, International Students Scramble to Find Alternative Options

The Tale of the Cynics and the Believers

Shish-Ke-Bob

By Bob Cunha

Imagine for a moment that all of humanity is divided into two distinct groups: the Cynics and the Believers.

The Cynics have had the upper hand for the past three weekends. The Cynics point out that the Harvard football team hadn't lost three consecutive shutouts since dinosaurs walked the earth.

The Cynics tell us that the Harvard offense didn't score for three hours, thirty-two minutes, and forty-five seconds of game time, spread out over a month of Saturdays.

The Believers, on the other hand, are relishing Saturday's 42-26 victory over Dartmouth. The Believers check the record books and discover that Harvard hadn't scored so many points in one game against Dartmouth this century.

The Cynics, however, say that Dartmouth has given up an average of 45 points per game this year, and the Crimson didn't even match that mark. The Cynics say that Harvard (now 2-1 in the Ivy League) has beaten up on a couple of creampuffs, but will get murdered by the meat of the Ivy League.

But the Believers have begun to whisper some strange words: Ivy League title.

Believers sense a new spirit, a new vibrancy in the Crimson. Receivers are snagging key passes. The offensive line is dominating the line of scrimmage. The defense has looked sharp, especially against the run.

And quarterback Tom Yohe, the new key cog in the Harvard Multliflex, has grasped the throttle of the Crimson offense. "Hopefully, we can go the rest of the way undefeated and give the title a go," he says.

"This game puts us back in the dark horse position," Captain Scott Collins said after the Dartmouth demolition. "We may surprise some people. We can't control our own destiny, but we can win it." Collins believes that the eventual Ivy champion will have at least one loss, and he might be right.

Even Dartmouth Coach Joe Yukica dared speak of Harvard's championship hopes. "I wouldn't be thinking about next year," he says of the Crimson. "I would be thinking about winning the Ivy championship [this year]."

The Cynics, however, say that Penn--upset winners over Navy this weekend--is far too strong an opponent for the Crimson to handle. The Cynics chuckle sadistically when they think about the prospect of the Harvard-Penn matchup in Philadelphia next month.

The Cynics add that Brown is a pretty decent team. And against Yale, you can throw the stats out the window.

The Believers, on the other hand, have heard the rumblings of an Ivy League locomotive. They think the Harvard Limited will get on track and roll through Penn Station, derailing the Quakers' title hopes.

The Believers add that Brown is just plain bad. And against Yale, you can throw the stats out the window.

The Cynics say the Crimson has one chance in a million.

The Believers say the Crimson has a chance.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags