Combatting CHAOS

HUDDLED TOGETHER in a clear plastic cubicle, "The Dome of Silence", at CONTROL Headquarters, the Chief, Agent 86, and 99 plot strategy to thwart the latest move by the evil forces of CHAOS.

Meanwhile at the American-Mission in Geneva George P. Schultz, looking like Ed Platt (The Grey-Haired Chief), Robert C. McFarlane, and others gather in their own transparent cubicle (this one has curtains) to plot the next move against the "Evil Empire", The USSR.

Afternoon television no longer is the only place to watch "Get Smart" reruns, just turn the dial to the six o'clock news to catch the newest episodes now taking place at the Geneva Arms-Talks.

The new Chief, Ronald Reagan, has sent his agents out to stop the latest evil ploy by the USSR--expecting the "Forces of World Goodness" USA to actually sacrifice a defense program in return for the "Evil Empire" USSR to stop their threatening arms deployment. Schultz, Agent Bechtel, has been given instructions to protect the good and noble "Star Wars Project" from the evil thugs of the USSR.

To stop the "Star Wars" project would be to end a hope for all mankind, the miraculous freedom "from Nuclear War (The "Evil Empire's" ultimate goal), by building more weapons for our already immensely good arsenal and putting them in the only heretofore unprotected zone known to man, space.

Bechtel calls the chief on his shoephone. "The evils [CONTROL shorthand for the Evil Empire] have beefed up there arsenal and are beginning a Star Wars project of their own," he reports.

he Chief mulls over this unexpected development completely opposite all of the goods' (his favorite nickname for The Good 01' USA) expectations. "Why are they responding in this way to our weapons increase," he thinks, "don't they know they are escalating the arms race which is bad for all mankind.

The Chief then looks Agent Dirtydeal, Ed Meese, right in the eye and, using that famous sense of humor, he quips, "I sure hope they don't have the goods on us goods."

Fade out, Voice over: "What will happen to Bechtel? Will he fall for the evils ploy? Will the Chief be forced to carry out the diplomacy himself? Tune in next week when 'Millionaire Bruce Wayne' offers 'Stately Wayne Manor' to the chief. The chief turns his attention to this more important matter."