The Secret Files

To: Santa Claus

From: The Elves

Re: Gift list intelligence.

Nick:

Looks like another busy season again this year. The shopping malls are already crowded and salve . . . well, you know the rest. We asked the must what-do-you-want-from-Santa question this year and added a new ent to make the list more exciting: "If you were Santa this year, and you could give anything out, what would your first present be?"

Here are the answer. See you in the fireplace next Tuesday.

P.S. More files on page 12

John Kenneth Galbraith, Warburg Professor of Economics Emeritus: "For myself, a nice upholstered street grate on which to sleep. Ronald Reagan says that many people prefer them."

(And if he could be Santa (Claus) "To Harvard's financial managers a nice gold embossed certificate of achievement for finding a $130 million decline in the value of the University portfolio proved we didn't do so badly.'"

Baird Professor of Science and Carrier House Master Dudley R. Herschback wants "to understand how to make three electrons happy in infinite space" for Christmas. According to sources in the Science Center, Santa is studying up to that he can convey this knowledge.

Monroe Eagell, Lecturer on English "I'd like a better quality Printer for my word processor." And of he were Santa Claus? "I've just been struck by the efficiency of the new supersonic humidifiers. I'd like to give it to an asthmatic who needed one."

Santa will have to stock up on his computers and technological supplies this year to satisfy his fans: Menzel Professor of Astrophysics David Layer has requested "a piece of word processing software that detects logical errors."

City Councillor Alfred V. Vellucel wants a year's subscription to The Crimson.

Professor of History Simon M. Schama: "I'd like a year's supply of ripe mangoes" Although Professor Schama specializes in European art and politics, he would like to add a copy of Plato's Republic to President Reagan's Christmas stocking.

Professor of Social Anthropology and Middle Eastern Studies Nar O. Yalman would like to give a book of Buddha's thought to both Reagan and Sovier leader Konstans U. Chernenko. He objects strongly to the gift of Plato's Republic because "that book has produced dictatorships." The Curator Middle Eastern Ethnology at the Peabody Musum would like for himself "a painting as marvelous Van Gogo's 'Portrait of the Peabody to hang in my office."

Studio Professor of Visual and Environmental Studies Louis J. Bakenewsky simply requests "two new tenured positions in the VES department."

Undergraduate Council Chairman Brian R. Melender '36 wants "an office somewhere besides Candy basement." The Cabot House resident would, if he were elected Santa, like to give a gift to the Radcliffe Quadrangle: "a new must fountain to achieve parity."

T. Logan Evans '36, the campus notable who recently dove into a nearby garbage truck during one of his famous speeches from the steps of Widener, also has a Christmas wish. "I want $20,000 so that I can get my theory published and disseminated," says the trivia buff. Clark J. Preshman   Janefar A. Khageen