The president's secret weapon

Operation "Collect," person-to person call to Derek Bak, will you ?

, good so From you again. It's been a while."

"So it has, Derek. Anything happening up there?

"Can't really so, Bart. Things pretty far. I was busy last years as you know. Had to successor --"

"Thus load!"

"Now start, . He never in and I thought I that clear last time twe talked you were always the first Yadie choice ."

"Well, okay. But I think I like new guy a lot better. How's he doing."

"Sigmoe? Oh, he's just fine. I gave him some papers to shuffle, to keep him busy. The biggest news, though, is that Sisseta moved down the street-"

"Oh Derek. I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not that. She got a teaching position al Braudiers, so she's spending all her time out there."

"Well give her my best."

"Of course Bart. Boat look, we have to get down to business. How's the plan going."

"Like clockwork, Derek. The strike's now in its seventh week, and we think we can hold on for another seven."

'You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale'.

"Good, good. Are the students getting pissed?"

"You beicha! Really pissed. None of them are talking to one another, and name of them's even interested in decontructionism. And they're mad as hell at both the union and the university, just like we wanted."

"Well, I want you to know that I think you're doing a formidable job formidable. I saw your comments in the Times, and they looked good and obtuse, Keep stonewalling."

"I'll try, but you have to do your part."

"Don't worry a second, Bart. Have I let you down these last three years? Did I play the wimp, while you took on the New Right, or what? 'Peddlers of coercion'-you really have a way with words".

"You did, Derek. But those guys hit back hard. Bill Buckley had a number of articles ridiculing my stance on the Moral Majority, and so did Commentary"

"Well Bart, that's what you gotta expect when you play in the big leagues. Big mouths make big enemies. But what does it really matter. Everything is working just as we planned. We've got the best disinformation campaign going this side of the Kremlin-on-the-Charles,"

"You've got a point".

"And not only that, but we've gained you the credibility you need to make the big switch".

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves".

"But seriously Bart, we now have got people thinking the president of Yale is more outspoken than the president of Harvard. The Moral Majority, athletics, the Red Son, the president who walks the hallowed halls of Eli with his adoring students, locked in deep speculation about the nature of man-you're in the public eye on all-".

"But Detek, you've been in the public eve too".

"But not as you have Bart, no one more knows who I am. It's okay. You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale. The plan. The plan. Don't you remember-".

"Yes of course, the plan. But what's next?"

"I was starting to say that the next step is to get the admissions people out badmouthing Yale. Out everywhere. Lamenting the miserable conditions, the strike, the quisling administration, the boring students, the depressing gothic architecture. Remember Bart, you've got to hang tough. Remember how I did it on those South Africa investments. Our plan is going to take more than posturing. Quoting Socrates will only get you so far".

"Well just the other day I repeated my vow not to accept binding arbitration."

"You got the idea. I'll soon call out the dogs-".

"Now Derek, whatever we agreed to do, I told you I would not let your final clubs on this campus".

"You are really dense. I was talking bout Ed Fiske--you know, of the times-and the other education writers I'm going to start giving interviews-".

"But you haven't given one of those to the national press in six years Why should they believe you?"

"Oh they'll come lapping up whatever I say. They always do. See what they do to my annual reports on the law school and med schools".

"That's true. Quite clever of you".

"Well, what I'll do is is start quietly leaking the problems you guys are having down there. I'll low-key it, but make sure they come snooping around, maybes tell'em to look a little closer at your athletic program. By the way, I don't think I ever told you that I thought that was a great speech you gave a few years back to your alumni Really told'em off about sports. If you and Ryan can keep your teams losing for the next ten years, we'll be golden".

"Well we said from the beginning that this is an all-fronts attack I mean, what real school would practice winter sports in a cathedral?"

"That's right. And you told Carm about today, no more than 10 points today. Tops And yours front line are all members of the Elizabethan Society right?"

"Sure, sure . Buts what about your promise to me, Derek? You guaranteed that, and are you goings to back out now?"

"Bart, what did I tell you when I convinced them to make you president? As long as our plan works I'll go ahead with it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor. Me and Sissela --we talk about a lot, and we don't like it. You make sure to send us 10 more of your chi professors. And then in two years or so, once we see declining admissions in New Haven, and a few more years of losing sports teams-to go along with this strike-we'll go ahead with it. Won't the Times be bullshit. "A, Bartlett Giammatta To Become "Harvard Faculty Dean, Bok Announces".

"I like the sound of it".

The preceding article is only in the Spirit of The Game and is the work of the author.

, good so From you again. It's been a while."

"So it has, Derek. Anything happening up there?

"Can't really so, Bart. Things pretty far. I was busy last years as you know. Had to successor --"

"Thus load!"

"Now start, . He never in and I thought I that clear last time twe talked you were always the first Yadie choice ."

"Well, okay. But I think I like new guy a lot better. How's he doing."

"Sigmoe? Oh, he's just fine. I gave him some papers to shuffle, to keep him busy. The biggest news, though, is that Sisseta moved down the street-"

"Oh Derek. I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not that. She got a teaching position al Braudiers, so she's spending all her time out there."

"Well give her my best."

"Of course Bart. Boat look, we have to get down to business. How's the plan going."

"Like clockwork, Derek. The strike's now in its seventh week, and we think we can hold on for another seven."

'You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale'.

"Good, good. Are the students getting pissed?"

"You beicha! Really pissed. None of them are talking to one another, and name of them's even interested in decontructionism. And they're mad as hell at both the union and the university, just like we wanted."

"Well, I want you to know that I think you're doing a formidable job formidable. I saw your comments in the Times, and they looked good and obtuse, Keep stonewalling."

"I'll try, but you have to do your part."

"Don't worry a second, Bart. Have I let you down these last three years? Did I play the wimp, while you took on the New Right, or what? 'Peddlers of coercion'-you really have a way with words".

"You did, Derek. But those guys hit back hard. Bill Buckley had a number of articles ridiculing my stance on the Moral Majority, and so did Commentary"

"Well Bart, that's what you gotta expect when you play in the big leagues. Big mouths make big enemies. But what does it really matter. Everything is working just as we planned. We've got the best disinformation campaign going this side of the Kremlin-on-the-Charles,"

"You've got a point".

"And not only that, but we've gained you the credibility you need to make the big switch".

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves".

"But seriously Bart, we now have got people thinking the president of Yale is more outspoken than the president of Harvard. The Moral Majority, athletics, the Red Son, the president who walks the hallowed halls of Eli with his adoring students, locked in deep speculation about the nature of man-you're in the public eye on all-".

"But Detek, you've been in the public eve too".

"But not as you have Bart, no one more knows who I am. It's okay. You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale. The plan. The plan. Don't you remember-".

"Yes of course, the plan. But what's next?"

"I was starting to say that the next step is to get the admissions people out badmouthing Yale. Out everywhere. Lamenting the miserable conditions, the strike, the quisling administration, the boring students, the depressing gothic architecture. Remember Bart, you've got to hang tough. Remember how I did it on those South Africa investments. Our plan is going to take more than posturing. Quoting Socrates will only get you so far".

"Well just the other day I repeated my vow not to accept binding arbitration."

"You got the idea. I'll soon call out the dogs-".

"Now Derek, whatever we agreed to do, I told you I would not let your final clubs on this campus".

"You are really dense. I was talking bout Ed Fiske--you know, of the times-and the other education writers I'm going to start giving interviews-".

"But you haven't given one of those to the national press in six years Why should they believe you?"

"Oh they'll come lapping up whatever I say. They always do. See what they do to my annual reports on the law school and med schools".

"That's true. Quite clever of you".

"Well, what I'll do is is start quietly leaking the problems you guys are having down there. I'll low-key it, but make sure they come snooping around, maybes tell'em to look a little closer at your athletic program. By the way, I don't think I ever told you that I thought that was a great speech you gave a few years back to your alumni Really told'em off about sports. If you and Ryan can keep your teams losing for the next ten years, we'll be golden".

"Well we said from the beginning that this is an all-fronts attack I mean, what real school would practice winter sports in a cathedral?"

"That's right. And you told Carm about today, no more than 10 points today. Tops And yours front line are all members of the Elizabethan Society right?"

"Sure, sure . Buts what about your promise to me, Derek? You guaranteed that, and are you goings to back out now?"

"Bart, what did I tell you when I convinced them to make you president? As long as our plan works I'll go ahead with it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor. Me and Sissela --we talk about a lot, and we don't like it. You make sure to send us 10 more of your chi professors. And then in two years or so, once we see declining admissions in New Haven, and a few more years of losing sports teams-to go along with this strike-we'll go ahead with it. Won't the Times be bullshit. "A, Bartlett Giammatta To Become "Harvard Faculty Dean, Bok Announces".

"I like the sound of it".

The preceding article is only in the Spirit of The Game and is the work of the author.

"So it has, Derek. Anything happening up there?

"Can't really so, Bart. Things pretty far. I was busy last years as you know. Had to successor --"

"Thus load!"

"Now start, . He never in and I thought I that clear last time twe talked you were always the first Yadie choice ."

"Well, okay. But I think I like new guy a lot better. How's he doing."

"Sigmoe? Oh, he's just fine. I gave him some papers to shuffle, to keep him busy. The biggest news, though, is that Sisseta moved down the street-"

"Oh Derek. I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not that. She got a teaching position al Braudiers, so she's spending all her time out there."

"Well give her my best."

"Of course Bart. Boat look, we have to get down to business. How's the plan going."

"Like clockwork, Derek. The strike's now in its seventh week, and we think we can hold on for another seven."

'You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale'.

"Good, good. Are the students getting pissed?"

"You beicha! Really pissed. None of them are talking to one another, and name of them's even interested in decontructionism. And they're mad as hell at both the union and the university, just like we wanted."

"Well, I want you to know that I think you're doing a formidable job formidable. I saw your comments in the Times, and they looked good and obtuse, Keep stonewalling."

"I'll try, but you have to do your part."

"Don't worry a second, Bart. Have I let you down these last three years? Did I play the wimp, while you took on the New Right, or what? 'Peddlers of coercion'-you really have a way with words".

"You did, Derek. But those guys hit back hard. Bill Buckley had a number of articles ridiculing my stance on the Moral Majority, and so did Commentary"

"Well Bart, that's what you gotta expect when you play in the big leagues. Big mouths make big enemies. But what does it really matter. Everything is working just as we planned. We've got the best disinformation campaign going this side of the Kremlin-on-the-Charles,"

"You've got a point".

"And not only that, but we've gained you the credibility you need to make the big switch".

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves".

"But seriously Bart, we now have got people thinking the president of Yale is more outspoken than the president of Harvard. The Moral Majority, athletics, the Red Son, the president who walks the hallowed halls of Eli with his adoring students, locked in deep speculation about the nature of man-you're in the public eye on all-".

"But Detek, you've been in the public eve too".

"But not as you have Bart, no one more knows who I am. It's okay. You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale. The plan. The plan. Don't you remember-".

"Yes of course, the plan. But what's next?"

"I was starting to say that the next step is to get the admissions people out badmouthing Yale. Out everywhere. Lamenting the miserable conditions, the strike, the quisling administration, the boring students, the depressing gothic architecture. Remember Bart, you've got to hang tough. Remember how I did it on those South Africa investments. Our plan is going to take more than posturing. Quoting Socrates will only get you so far".

"Well just the other day I repeated my vow not to accept binding arbitration."

"You got the idea. I'll soon call out the dogs-".

"Now Derek, whatever we agreed to do, I told you I would not let your final clubs on this campus".

"You are really dense. I was talking bout Ed Fiske--you know, of the times-and the other education writers I'm going to start giving interviews-".

"But you haven't given one of those to the national press in six years Why should they believe you?"

"Oh they'll come lapping up whatever I say. They always do. See what they do to my annual reports on the law school and med schools".

"That's true. Quite clever of you".

"Well, what I'll do is is start quietly leaking the problems you guys are having down there. I'll low-key it, but make sure they come snooping around, maybes tell'em to look a little closer at your athletic program. By the way, I don't think I ever told you that I thought that was a great speech you gave a few years back to your alumni Really told'em off about sports. If you and Ryan can keep your teams losing for the next ten years, we'll be golden".

"Well we said from the beginning that this is an all-fronts attack I mean, what real school would practice winter sports in a cathedral?"

"That's right. And you told Carm about today, no more than 10 points today. Tops And yours front line are all members of the Elizabethan Society right?"

"Sure, sure . Buts what about your promise to me, Derek? You guaranteed that, and are you goings to back out now?"

"Bart, what did I tell you when I convinced them to make you president? As long as our plan works I'll go ahead with it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor. Me and Sissela --we talk about a lot, and we don't like it. You make sure to send us 10 more of your chi professors. And then in two years or so, once we see declining admissions in New Haven, and a few more years of losing sports teams-to go along with this strike-we'll go ahead with it. Won't the Times be bullshit. "A, Bartlett Giammatta To Become "Harvard Faculty Dean, Bok Announces".

"I like the sound of it".

The preceding article is only in the Spirit of The Game and is the work of the author.

"Thus load!"

"Now start, . He never in and I thought I that clear last time twe talked you were always the first Yadie choice ."

"Well, okay. But I think I like new guy a lot better. How's he doing."

"Sigmoe? Oh, he's just fine. I gave him some papers to shuffle, to keep him busy. The biggest news, though, is that Sisseta moved down the street-"

"Oh Derek. I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not that. She got a teaching position al Braudiers, so she's spending all her time out there."

"Well give her my best."

"Of course Bart. Boat look, we have to get down to business. How's the plan going."

"Like clockwork, Derek. The strike's now in its seventh week, and we think we can hold on for another seven."

'You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale'.

"Good, good. Are the students getting pissed?"

"You beicha! Really pissed. None of them are talking to one another, and name of them's even interested in decontructionism. And they're mad as hell at both the union and the university, just like we wanted."

"Well, I want you to know that I think you're doing a formidable job formidable. I saw your comments in the Times, and they looked good and obtuse, Keep stonewalling."

"I'll try, but you have to do your part."

"Don't worry a second, Bart. Have I let you down these last three years? Did I play the wimp, while you took on the New Right, or what? 'Peddlers of coercion'-you really have a way with words".

"You did, Derek. But those guys hit back hard. Bill Buckley had a number of articles ridiculing my stance on the Moral Majority, and so did Commentary"

"Well Bart, that's what you gotta expect when you play in the big leagues. Big mouths make big enemies. But what does it really matter. Everything is working just as we planned. We've got the best disinformation campaign going this side of the Kremlin-on-the-Charles,"

"You've got a point".

"And not only that, but we've gained you the credibility you need to make the big switch".

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves".

"But seriously Bart, we now have got people thinking the president of Yale is more outspoken than the president of Harvard. The Moral Majority, athletics, the Red Son, the president who walks the hallowed halls of Eli with his adoring students, locked in deep speculation about the nature of man-you're in the public eye on all-".

"But Detek, you've been in the public eve too".

"But not as you have Bart, no one more knows who I am. It's okay. You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale. The plan. The plan. Don't you remember-".

"Yes of course, the plan. But what's next?"

"I was starting to say that the next step is to get the admissions people out badmouthing Yale. Out everywhere. Lamenting the miserable conditions, the strike, the quisling administration, the boring students, the depressing gothic architecture. Remember Bart, you've got to hang tough. Remember how I did it on those South Africa investments. Our plan is going to take more than posturing. Quoting Socrates will only get you so far".

"Well just the other day I repeated my vow not to accept binding arbitration."

"You got the idea. I'll soon call out the dogs-".

"Now Derek, whatever we agreed to do, I told you I would not let your final clubs on this campus".

"You are really dense. I was talking bout Ed Fiske--you know, of the times-and the other education writers I'm going to start giving interviews-".

"But you haven't given one of those to the national press in six years Why should they believe you?"

"Oh they'll come lapping up whatever I say. They always do. See what they do to my annual reports on the law school and med schools".

"That's true. Quite clever of you".

"Well, what I'll do is is start quietly leaking the problems you guys are having down there. I'll low-key it, but make sure they come snooping around, maybes tell'em to look a little closer at your athletic program. By the way, I don't think I ever told you that I thought that was a great speech you gave a few years back to your alumni Really told'em off about sports. If you and Ryan can keep your teams losing for the next ten years, we'll be golden".

"Well we said from the beginning that this is an all-fronts attack I mean, what real school would practice winter sports in a cathedral?"

"That's right. And you told Carm about today, no more than 10 points today. Tops And yours front line are all members of the Elizabethan Society right?"

"Sure, sure . Buts what about your promise to me, Derek? You guaranteed that, and are you goings to back out now?"

"Bart, what did I tell you when I convinced them to make you president? As long as our plan works I'll go ahead with it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor. Me and Sissela --we talk about a lot, and we don't like it. You make sure to send us 10 more of your chi professors. And then in two years or so, once we see declining admissions in New Haven, and a few more years of losing sports teams-to go along with this strike-we'll go ahead with it. Won't the Times be bullshit. "A, Bartlett Giammatta To Become "Harvard Faculty Dean, Bok Announces".

"I like the sound of it".

The preceding article is only in the Spirit of The Game and is the work of the author.

"Well, okay. But I think I like new guy a lot better. How's he doing."

"Sigmoe? Oh, he's just fine. I gave him some papers to shuffle, to keep him busy. The biggest news, though, is that Sisseta moved down the street-"

"Oh Derek. I'm sorry!"

"No, it's not that. She got a teaching position al Braudiers, so she's spending all her time out there."

"Well give her my best."

"Of course Bart. Boat look, we have to get down to business. How's the plan going."

"Like clockwork, Derek. The strike's now in its seventh week, and we think we can hold on for another seven."

'You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale'.

"Good, good. Are the students getting pissed?"

"You beicha! Really pissed. None of them are talking to one another, and name of them's even interested in decontructionism. And they're mad as hell at both the union and the university, just like we wanted."

"Well, I want you to know that I think you're doing a formidable job formidable. I saw your comments in the Times, and they looked good and obtuse, Keep stonewalling."

"I'll try, but you have to do your part."

"Don't worry a second, Bart. Have I let you down these last three years? Did I play the wimp, while you took on the New Right, or what? 'Peddlers of coercion'-you really have a way with words".

"You did, Derek. But those guys hit back hard. Bill Buckley had a number of articles ridiculing my stance on the Moral Majority, and so did Commentary"

"Well Bart, that's what you gotta expect when you play in the big leagues. Big mouths make big enemies. But what does it really matter. Everything is working just as we planned. We've got the best disinformation campaign going this side of the Kremlin-on-the-Charles,"

"You've got a point".

"And not only that, but we've gained you the credibility you need to make the big switch".

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves".

"But seriously Bart, we now have got people thinking the president of Yale is more outspoken than the president of Harvard. The Moral Majority, athletics, the Red Son, the president who walks the hallowed halls of Eli with his adoring students, locked in deep speculation about the nature of man-you're in the public eye on all-".

"But Detek, you've been in the public eve too".

"But not as you have Bart, no one more knows who I am. It's okay. You have got the credibility, now, to oversee the destruction of Yale. The plan. The plan. Don't you remember-".

"Yes of course, the plan. But what's next?"

"I was starting to say that the next step is to get the admissions people out badmouthing Yale. Out everywhere. Lamenting the miserable conditions, the strike, the quisling administration, the boring students, the depressing gothic architecture. Remember Bart, you've got to hang tough. Remember how I did it on those South Africa investments. Our plan is going to take more than posturing. Quoting Socrates will only get you so far".

"Well just the other day I repeated my vow not to accept binding arbitration."

"You got the idea. I'll soon call out the dogs-".

"Now Derek, whatever we agreed to do, I told you I would not let your final clubs on this campus".

"You are really dense. I was talking bout Ed Fiske--you know, of the times-and the other education writers I'm going to start giving interviews-".

"But you haven't given one of those to the national press in six years Why should they believe you?"

"Oh they'll come lapping up whatever I say. They always do. See what they do to my annual reports on the law school and med schools".

"That's true. Quite clever of you".

"Well, what I'll do is is start quietly leaking the problems you guys are having down there. I'll low-key it, but make sure they come snooping around, maybes tell'em to look a little closer at your athletic program. By the way, I don't think I ever told you that I thought that was a great speech you gave a few years back to your alumni Really told'em off about sports. If you and Ryan can keep your teams losing for the next ten years, we'll be golden".

"Well we said from the beginning that this is an all-fronts attack I mean, what real school would practice winter sports in a cathedral?"

"That's right. And you told Carm about today, no more than 10 points today. Tops And yours front line are all members of the Elizabethan Society right?"

"Sure, sure . Buts what about your promise to me, Derek? You guaranteed that, and are you goings to back out now?"

"Bart, what did I tell you when I convinced them to make you president? As long as our plan works I'll go ahead with it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's honor. Me and Sissela --we talk about a lot, and we don't like it. You make sure to send us 10 more of your chi professors. And then in two years or so, once we see declining admissions in New Haven, and a few more years of losing sports teams-to go along with this strike-we'll go ahead with it. Won't the Times be bullshit. "A, Bartlett Giammatta To Become "Harvard Faculty Dean, Bok Announces".

"I like the sound of it".

The preceding article is only in the Spirit of The Game and is the work of the author.