Somewhere on the Road

SOMEWHERE ON INTERSTATE SS, N.Y.--My crystal ball broke yesterday, and for the first time this year, I had to leave Cambridge in search of Veritas.

So I set off to follow the setting sun, seeking the answer to the eternal questions: Will truth conquer evil, does free will exist, will the Harvard football team defeat Cornell, and by what score?

My prognosticating got complicated right from the beginning. What about the leaves falling alongside the Mass. Pike? Were they turning Red or Crimson? Would Cornell, 0-3, turn over a new leaf against Harvard?

I soon thought I knew the answer, and it was ominous indeed. For speeding by on the left was a big red Oldsmobile with Michigan plates. A clearer sign couldn't have come my way. The meaning was obvious.

First-year Cornell Coach Maxie Baughan was the defensive coordinator for the Detroit Lions before coming to Ithaca. The Michigan-led Big Red was obviously on the move.

Fortunately, I later received introvertible evidence to the contrary. The Oldsmobile left the Mass. Pike, heading south for Hartford and...New Haven. Only Yale need worry about the Red threat.

My readings proved correct five minutes later, when I careened past a Trailways bus. Those who go Big Red just can't compete with the Crimson.

* * *

HARVARD 59, CORNELL 7. The last three odometer digits never lie.

DARTMOUTH 14, WILLIAM & MARY 2--Since becoming the head coach of Dartmouth in 1978, Joe Yukica has won three Ivy League championships. He has never won a nonleague game. If anybody's overdue for a big win, it's Dartmouth. They'll take this one, and Yukica will be 1-14-1 in nonleague action.

PENN 21, BROWN 20--The Quakers are no flash in the Pen, and the Bruins couldn't even topple Princeton last week. Still, this one will be close.

PRINCETON 42, COLUMBIA 28--In a world without defense, the more balanced attack is king. Besides, the home toxic-waste-dump advantage is not to be overlooked.

BOSTON COLLEGE 18, YALE 15--No Eli team has ever started 0-4 before. There's no way this year's squad can avoid it.

LAST WEEK--5-0. Perfect again. SEASON TO DATE--13-4, .765. Revolutionary.