Love and Hate

I love football, I love football, I love football, I love football. Football. I loovvvvve foooooootballlllll.

These were the words that just kept passing through my mind during the last Harvard-Dartmouth game in Hanover. I was sitting in the stands, and it was raining so hard that my raincoat--one of those leak-proof, rubberized specials--had soaked through. My newish jeans were plastered to my legs, which by this time must have been Levi blue from the dye that was forming a nice pool at my feet. Ah yes, my feet. My feet, shriveled to nothingness, were floating inside my socks, which were floating inside my sneakers, which had water streaming out of the eyelets, diluting the Levi blue pool. The man who said the body was 80 percent water was not at Dartmouth that day. I was toppin '90, easy.

And, believe it or not, if it had just been the rain. I could have dealt with the situation. Once around the dryer and I would have been okay. But there was one other slight discomfort on that lovely October day--it was late in the second quarter, and undefeated (4-0) Harvard trailed previously pitiful Dartmouth (1-3) by a 17-0 score.

I love football, I love football, I loovvvvvvve football, I just kept saying it over and over again, trying to justify my impending pneumonia.

All of a sudden I realized that my friend was punching me on the arm and saying that he wanted to leave, to find shelter and warmth and something to eat.

"C'mon," he said. "Let's go." I only shook my head and turned back to the field.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, "Why not?"

I'm not really sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew, the words had come out of my mouth.

"I love football," I said.

From that moment to the present, and on into the future for who knows how long. I have not been allowed to forget that particular utterance.

My friend stared at me for a few seconds and then turned and left, headed for a restaurant just over the border that specialized in chili and warm, dry air. I should have gone, too, because nobody on the Harvard side could have loved football enough to bear through the rest of the game.

Though the rain stopped during halftime. Dartmouth continued to pour it on Harvard, winning by a 30-12 count. In addition to losing the game (and severely hampering its Ivy title hopes), the Crimson also managed to lose a bunch of quarterbacks.

Brian Buckley (No. 1)--who had banged up his knee the week before against Army--was not even dressed for the game.

Mike Buchanan (No. 2), who started, suffered what was thought to be a broken ankle during Harvard's fifth series.

So that Ron Cuccia (No. 3) could remain at split end, Mark Marion (No. 4) entered upon Buchanan's departure. After an interception, he was back on the bench.

Cuccia took over--in his first varsity appearance at QB--and moved Harvard down the field for the first time in the game. On his second series in the game, midway through the third quarter, Cuccia ran the Multi flex like the old single-wing of leather helmet days, taking snaps in the shotgun and sprinting out to either pass or throw The sophomore quarterback executed an 80-yard drive for Harvard's first and only touchdown on the day. But Cuccia, moving the Multi flex again on the next series, suffered a pulled hamstring. He would neither throw nor catch any more passes on this day.

Buchanan came back into the game for one play--a 13-yard run on which he reinsured his ankle--and then it was back to Marion, except for a fourth-quarter field goal try, during which Don Allard (No. 5) did the holding.

There are some scary similarities between this afternoon's game and that fateful contest two years ago. Harvard is again 2-0 in the Ivies (3-1 on the year), not quite as hot as last time. Dartmouth is 0-1 in the league, (0-4 overall), a little worse.

Harvard's starting quarterback when the season opened--Cuccia--will be in street clothes just as Buckley was two years ago. Harvard's starter against Dartmouth, Allard, who has performed superbly since taking over from Cuccia on opening day, is hurting. Before you know it, Harvard could be down to its third quarterback, Jack Riordan, just like last time.

Dartmouth, in most preseason circles, was favored to win the Ivies, just like two years ago. Harvard, picked to challenge for the title, was also considered a contender in 1980.

And though Harvard has won four of six previous meetings between the two schools in New Hampshire, it's no fun to play in Hanover, among the animals.

Unfortunately (I hate Dartmouth), it could be just like last time.

DARTMOUTH 30, HARVARD 12--This game marks the 100th anniversary of the Harvard-Dartmouth series. It is also homecoming weekend for the Big Green. And Dartmouth hasn't started a season by losing five straight since 1952. So for now, and I hope I'm wrong, I've got it just like last time.

COLUMBIA 28, YALE 24--I especially love football when Lion John Witkowski is at quarterback. He can drop back and throw that square-out all day long.

BROWN 17, CORNELL 7--Cornell quarterback Jeff Hammond, on the other hand, is the worst I've seen this year. I know a 12-year old girl named Amy who runs the Nerf option better than he could.

PENN 35, LAFAYETTE 17--I hear rumors that striking NFL stars are suiting up each week and playing for the Quakers, who are now 4-0. I demand an NCAA investigation. It may be the only way to stop Gary Vura & Co.

ARMY 16, PRINCETON 3--This game is not on national television. Last week--4-1 (getting better). Season to date--14-9, .609, and starting to make my move.