A Few Small Requests

Somewhere along the way, a lot of Harvard professors stepped out of line this year. Maybe they gave the wrong people tenure, or maybe they just stayed out a little too late at the Faculty Club. One way or another, they must have done something wrong in 1981, because none of them are going to get what they want for Christmas this year.

Take George Wald. The Higgins Professor Emeritus of Biology has two presents he'd like to receive: "decency in American government" and "a second political party in America." Try stuffing those in your stocking.

And how about Robert Coles. The Medical School psychiatrist and guru of Social Sciences 33 wants "the destruction of all nuclear missiles in the world." Better watch out, Dr. Coles--better not cry.

Peace on earth is a hot item on the faculty gift lists this year. Nathan I. Huggins, chairman of the Afro-American Studies Department, asks for nothing else. Nicolaas Bloembergen, Gade University Professor and this year's Nobel laureate in physics, wants a little more: "I'd like peace and quiet," he says. And John K. Fairbank, Higginson Professor Emeritus of History, is choosiest of all. "Peace and good will is all right," he says, but "but I'd like to add a little more intelligence. A little study."

Robert Brustein and E.O. Wilson are competing for the same present, and in the spirit of the season, it's something nice and green. "A healthy and prosperous National Science Foundation" is biologist Wilson's request. And Brustein, the director of the Loeb Drama Center, is asking for "pots and pots of money for the American Repertory Theater."

William R. Fitzsimmons '67, acting dean of admissions and financial aids, will doubtless be disappointed when he looks under his tree Christmas morning. The present he's looking for, he says, is "what all admissions committees want--the gift of hindsight." And Alan E. Heimert, Cabot Professor of American Literature and master of Eliot House, is also in for a letdown. Heimert's yuletide desire: anonymity.

Edwin O. Reischauer's near and dear ones are going to have a tough time wrapping the present he wants. "I'm like anyone else," says the University Professor Emeritus and Japan expert. "What I want is time."

A few lucky professors may actually receive the present of their dreams this year. David H. Hubel, Berry Professor of Neurobiology, already has, according to his secretary. "He's in Sweden, picking up his Nobel Prize," she reports. "Christmas has come early this year."

Oleg Grabar, the maestro of Fine Arts 13, would like to do a little travelling himself--a week in Florida or Tahiti is his version of the ideal Christmas gift. And the simplest request of all comes form Harvey C. Mansfield Jr. '53, the Government professor whose average grades are legendary for their coincidence with his middle initial--a nice bottle of cognac is his gift of choice. Try the Harvard Pro, Gov jocks.

For a few generous souls, the season will be one of giving, not receiving. "I have received presents from Santa Claus only a long, long, time ago," says Czeslaw Milosz, the Polish poet who is giving this year's Norton Lectures. "I give presents now--mostly clothing for my family, something fancy or pleasant."

Also thinking of his fellow men is Joe Bertagna '73, director of sports information. "Rather than ask for anything for myself," he says. "I'd like to ask for a hairpiece for Billy Cleary and a new tailor for Frank McLaughlin." Cleary, the varsity hockey coach, and McLaughlin, the varsity basketball coach, were not available to suggest appropriate offerings for Bertagna.

The only professors who may realize their wildest fantasies this Christmas are people like Sheldon L. Gashow, Higgins Professor of Physics, and James Q. Wilson, Shattuck Professor of Government. "I haven't really thought about what I might want for Christmas," says Glashow. "Nothing comes to mind." Says Wilson: "I have nothing in mind."

Finally Oscar Handlin, Pforzheimer University Professor amd director of the University Library, may have found the perfect cure for the didn't-get-what-I-wanted-for-Christmas-blues. Asked what he wanted for Christmas this year, Handlin said, "I gave up being cute years ago."