Soldiers in the Night

Last night I had a dream about the Harvard-Army football game. It wasn't a pretty dream--in fact, you would probably call it a nightmare if it happened to you. I know Joe Restic would if it happened to him.

They say dreams reflect what you think when you are awake, Now, I have never been unreasonably scared of the Army. I don't like the idea of registration, but registering for the draft didn't scare me. I played war games when I was a kid. I've seen Stripes five times.

But last night, I was scared of the Army. I was scared of a soldier named Gerald Walker, a soldier who was serving his country in Korea when he got a call from West Point. A soldier who romped for 172 yards last week against Brown. He romped for even more in my dream.

I was scared of Larry Pruitt, who is a flanker in real life. Last week he scored two touchdowns, one on a 57-yd. punt return. In my dream he was a tailgunner. Kirkland House ceased to exist in my dream.

And then there was Bryan Allem. I'm sure he'll be a nice guy when I meet him in the locker room this afternoon, even though he is probably majoring in Hand Grenades at West Point. Last week, he taught a course in high-pressure quarterbacking, coming in for starter Jerryl Bennett to lead the Cadets to a 23-17 victory. He graduated Summa-Cum-Touchdown in my dream.

Oh, and the defense. That might have been the worst part of the whole night. The linemen were tanks, the defensive backs were minesweepers. Harvard running backs exploded on impact. You've seen Apocalypse Now? Walt Disney, compared to my dream.

I can see now how unreasonable the whole thing was. In the light of day it all seems stupid. Larry Pruitt a tailgunner? Shooting down the Harvard secondary? Let's be serious.

No, I feel much better now. The only problem is, every time anybody mentions the Army, I dive for cover. My roommates watched The Green Berets in my living room yesterday afternoon. I watched from under the couch.

And I'm still afraid of this afternoon. I'm afraid of Walker and Pruitt and Allem and the defense. I'm afraid Harvard is going to lose. I'm afraid Harvard is going to lose (sorry, guys) 35-21.

But that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for Harvard. I'll be up in the press box hoping my dream was all wrong. You can come up and see me there if you like. I'll be the one under the scorer's table.

The Predictions:

PENN 20, COLUMBIA 17: Watch Penn rebound from a 58-0 loss. Penn is for real this year. It is not a 58-0 team.

RUTGERS 30, CORNELL 13: Rutgers played Alabama at the Meadowlands last year. Cornell students don't even know about Alabama. They think of the rest of the country in terms of Hotel Management.

NAVY 14, YALE 7: A toughie, a real toughie. My crystal ball says Yale. My crystal ball said Hearns. And the Patriots. And McGovern.

DARTMOUTH 17, HOLY CROSS 6: Block any punts lately, John Andreoli? Not this week, sports.

PRINCETON 17, BROWN 14: My surprise pick of the week. All that soft ice cream slows the Bruins down.

Last week: six right, two wrong. Season: 8-4, Good enough for first place in the A.L. East.