Statistics 110g. Introduction to Predictions

Q: Why do people pay attention to sports? A: Because there is always an element of the unknown attached to competition. Participants as well as spectators can never predict positively, unalterably, absolutely and beyond a shadow of a doubt what the result of an individual clash, a two-team series, or even the eventual outcome of a whole season will be.

Despite this natural law, you and I are still subjected to mere mortals who suggest that they can see into the future and divine the impending results of sporting events to such minute fractions as 3 to 5, 2 1/2 points, or maybe two field goals.

Q: Why do otherwise credible and rational people keep trying to forecast the future with their Monday-morning crystal balls?

A: Because, if a sportswriter or any other omniscient source could unravel the mystery of predicting sports scores, look what he could gain: 1) the Cassandra Cup: awarded to individuals with a knack for predictions since 862 B.C., and 2) a seat next to Jayne Kennedy every Sunday afternoon from September until January.

However, this year I will not fall into the category of disillusioned sportswriters whose meager attempts at ESP crumble when conflicting results are recorded. Yes, this year no one will scoff at my inspirations. In fact, I'll stake my last Dunster Dollar on the flawlessness of my insight.

So here they are--10 predicitons that you can bet your Ec 10 final on. I predict...

1. The final Ivy League football standings will not be

1. Columbia

2. Cornell

3. Princeton

4. Penn

5. Harvard

6. Dartmouth

7. Brown

8. Yale

2. 5'9" All-Ivy bucket star Glenn Fine will not perform a helicopter-dunk on a breakaway lay-up this year.

3. The Harvard hockey team will not allow a goal to be scored against them in Watson Rink in 1978.

4. Olympic silver - medalist Bobby Hackett will not win the Head of the Charles.

5. Mike Desaulniers will not win the intramural squash tournament.

6. Currier House will not win the Straus Cup.

7. Larry Brown will not be allowed to quarterback from a pitcher's mound.

8. Harvard will not spend $100 million on a new sports complex and then will not offer a bid to host the 1984 Olympics

9. I will not "score" at the Quad for 100 years.

10. Bok's Jocks will lose to the Crimson hoop team, 23-2, for the eighth consecutive year.