Hooping It Up at the IAB

Last night I heard somebody say, "There's no sports around Harvard for the next two weeks."

Well EXCUSE ME, but I know where avid fans can see all the basketball action they can endure. And if spectating is not very appealing, they can step onto the court and take a few shots of their own.

That's right. For the price of a bursar's card (about $7000 these days) you can walk to the IAB, climb three floors to the gymnasium, and relive those glory days of high school, wondering why Frank McLaughlin never offered you a nocut contract with the varsity hoop squad.

Every aspect of the IAB "pickup" basketball is competitive. For instance, in an exciting game played yesterday at 1:45, the "skins" overcame an 11-8 deficit to upend the highly favored "shirts," 15-13.

Mike Sullivan, a senior in Eliot House, led the "skin" comeback by scoring three buckets, calling two fouls, and effectively frustrating Victor Bondi, the "shirts"' leading scorer. After the game Bondi said, "There are no winners here, only survivors."

The "skins" had claimed the floor earlier by knocking off football coach Al Bruno's noontime gang. Bruno, the grid team's offensive coordinator, played on the University of Kentucky's NCAA championship team of 1948-49. He and several other Harvard coaches dominate center-court daily from noon until 1 p.m. Using the running hook and the one-hand shot to counter modern techniques, Coach Bruno constantly astounds his younger opponents.

As I said before, all aspects of IAB basketball are competitive. Before you can play in a center-court game you must undergo a harrowing ritual which takes place along the sidelines--choosing a team. There are many devices, that potential general managers employ in trying to acquire high-caliber players and create a dynasty.

The first method applied by a scrutinizing talent scout is telling any questionable player who asks whether your team needs anyone else, "I've already got my five." Other tactful responses include, "Some of my friends are downstairs dressing," or, "Sorry, I'm waiting for a big man."

Of course, getting a team together goes not mean the battle is over. Determining whose squad plays next provides many undergraduates with their first exposure to the basic elements of international relations. No tribunal with effective power governs conflicting actors in the IAB, so "Might becomes Right," and those without clout have to wait their turn.

The succession of new teams is determined by the order of the arrival of waiting players. This statute evokes such arguments as, "I was here an hour ago but went downstairs," or, "I was over in the corner watching, but I'm next for sure."

This week is also the ideal time to show up at the IAB and rub elbows with some of your favorite Crimson heroes who have just finished their winter sports seasons.

Now is your only chance to hack defensemen from the hockey team without the threat of a five-minute major penalty, and you might want to show goalie John Hynes some offensive moves.

If you are looking for a close encounter with a Harvard grappler, then tie up with 118-Ib. Wrestler Ray Dominguez on a side court, or try climbing over the back of heavyweight Craig Beling to snatch a rebound off the glass on center-court.

Most IAB "regulars" play gaily and probably log more court time than Supreme Court justices. You can distinguish one of these veterans by his entrance. If he immediately asks the nearest bystander. "Who's got the next game?" then you can be sure he knows the ropes. And, of course, an IAB "regular" never schedules classes conflicting with available court time during the winter.

So remember, if you're looking for some sports action to help you get in shape for your upcoming trip to Florida, then head to the IAB and get your money's worth out of Harvard. It's better than lunch!