Thou Shalt Think Now, So as Not to Be Sorry Later

So what are you taking?

Find any good guts?

Common questions these days, and why not. It really is pretty difficult to select just four courses when you're presented with a 722-page course catalogue containing all of your favorites.

Wrong, no-hourly-and-an-optional-paper breath. The reason that finding courses is such a task has nothing to do with their abundance, but rather with their sparsity. If you follow the dictates of the Ten Commandments, that is:

Hold On, Moses

1) Thou shalt not schedule any courses with an exam after the second weekend. Come on, don't make the same mistake you did last term. You know you want to get out of here as soon as possible and besides, the next time exams roll around, the sun will be shining. Brightly. As in rays. You dig. That eliminates Monday, Wednesday and Friday at one, and two, Tuesday and Thursday at 12, three and four.

2) Thou shalt not schedule any courses before ten in the morning. What are you, stupid? Anything before ten is closer to last night than this morning. That takes care of eight and nine.

Save Eves, Adam

3) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that have either more than two lectures or one section per week. Sure, you're going to show up five days a week for anything, let alone a class. Au revoir, foreign languages.

4) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that meet at 11. Aaaaaaaaaaay, have something conflict with Happy Days. Make sure the Fonz doesn't see your study card if you do. Eleven o'clock classes--later.

5) Thou shalt not schedule any courses with problem sets, quizzies or oral presentations. In other words, if you have to do anything before the second week in March, forget it. No, I never have taken a seminar or a real science course.

Ski Mount Sinai

6) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that could possibly meet on Friday afternoon. Every weekend should be a long one, so Monday, Wednesday and Friday at three or four is out the window. Remember, don't take any unnecessary chances.

7) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that require a walk past Cambridge St. If this were September, that would be one thing, but it's cold out nowadays, and you don't want to get sick, do you? Which is why William James and 2 Divinity Ave. should be avoided. If you have to go, button up and wear a hat.

8) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that meet at lunchtime or have a Saturday exam. Hey, you gotta (at least make the attempt to) eat, and I don't care what they say, Friday night is still Friday night, exam period or no exam period. Which just happens to eliminate Mondays at 10 and 12 (once a week is enough for most people, anyway).

9) Thou shalt not schedule any courses in which the professor gives a real lecture on the first day. A bad sign right off the bat. The opening lecture is for important things like seeing how many people you know in the room. Nobody wants to take notes until after Washington's Birthday at the earliest.

10) Thou shalt not schedule any courses that have either hourlies, papers or finals. Well, that about takes care of everything.